Matchmaker Matchmaker
by livinglife
Summary: Vlad the forty year old bachelor giving up Maddie Fenton? Very unlikely. So Danny is going to help him get over his love... by signing him up to a dating website! Vlad of course has no clue. What will he do when strange women start showing up at his door?
1. The Set Up

_**Okay, this story is going to be kind of weird. Some chapters might be really short, and some might be longer, but I'll explain more at the end.**_

Danny Fenton sat on his front steps of his house reading a valentine and laughing his but off. The more he read the harder he laughed, and he managed to stop just as his friend Sam Manson walked up with something behind her back.

"Happy Valentines Day Danny!" she said. Sam noticed the valentine in Danny's hand and carefully hid a depressed look. Then she put whatever was behind her back into her pocket. "Who did you get a valentine from? Valerie?" She couldn't stop the scorn that came with that name.

"No, and what put you in such a bad mood? Oh that's right you hate human emotion and Valentines Day celebrates that. Here, read this, it should cheer you up. It worked for me." He handed the valentine to Sam.

_My dearest Madeline,_

_Roses are red, my heart is blue,_

_Because I'm spending Valentine's Day without you,_

_When I see your smiling face,_

_My heart always beats faster by a pace,_

_So please leave Jack, come stay with me!_

_Because I so very much love thee._

_Sincerely, Vladimir Masters._

"Isn't that the mushiest valentine you've read?" Danny asked.

Sam blushed embarrassedly. "Uh, sure. Why were you reading your mother's valentines anyway?"

Danny smirked. "I was expecting Vlad to send something like this. And look," He held up three more valentines in various shapes. "They're all from him just in case my mom didn't get the message the first time.

"You mean the fact that he loves her?" Sam asked.

"No, the message that Vlad is one seriously crazed up fruitloop. He's been after my mom ever since he first met her!" Sam almost said something as she remembered being in the same situation as Vlad.

"I bet he's lonely, all by himself in that big castle." She said after a long pause.

Danny laughed. "Then he should take my advice and get a cat. Sam, he's over forty years old! Don't you think it's time he moved on?"

"Maybe he's having trouble moving on, and he's just too proud to ask for help."

"Help…" Danny smirked evilly. "You're right Sam; we should help him move on to other women."

Sam was unnerved by Danny's grin. "I don't think I like the sound of this…"

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A few minutes later they were on Danny's computer. "Danny, I don't like where this is going." Sam said.

Danny only smiled. He opened up a paint program he had been working on and opened up a picture of Vlad that he had used in his ghost files. Then he erased the mouth and began working.

"What are you doing?" Sam said looking over Danny's shoulder.

Danny finished working on the picture, and it made Vlad look like someone had put his mouth on upside down when he was frowning… turning it into a weird sort of smile. "Everyone looks better when they smile." Danny told Sam. "And old cheese head is going to need a profile picture."

Sam gasped. "You're not honestly thinking what I think you're thinking."

"We'll see." was all that he said. Danny quickly saved the picture and logged on to the Internet. From there he typed in a website name. It'sCupidStupid .com. Sam said, "Now I know that you were doing what I thought you were doing. You can't give Vlad a profile on that thing!"

"Why not Sam? You said yourself that he needed help, and all of those Valentines prove it. A little romance will be good for the old V-man." He started typing.

After a few minutes he said, "There! The main profile's done."

"Wait, don't you need a validation email for these sorts of things? How did you get Vlad's?" Sam watched as Danny grinned.

"Sam, I don't think he would validate this do you? I used my own, that way we can monitor all of his dates, and see what kind of ladies he attracts."

"You're not regretting this one bit, are you." Sam said crossing her arms.

"Nope. Not in the slightest." Sam pushed him aside and read the profile. The screen name was 1crzdupFL

"Yeah that's going to bring in the dates." Sam said sarcastically. Danny said nothing and she continued to read.

The profile said, "Hi, I'm a 40 year old man who lives by himself in a big old castle. I like the Packers, hitting on other people's wives, plotting, trying to convince someone else's son to be mine, denying I want a cat, and the Packers. Sometimes I swear out loud, including words like Cheeselogs and Butter biscuits. I'm also crazy, although I never admit it when certain people tell me I am. My high points are the fact that I'm rich and not much else. My low points are everything else in this profile."

Sam glared at Danny. "Danny, that's not very nice. I know Vlad is your archenemy, but we are trying to help him."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Fine Sam. Move over."

Sam got out of his seat and Danny began to type again. This time the profile read:

"Hi, I'm a 40 year old man who lives by himself in a big old castle. I'm a Packers Fanatic, but I have no other real bad habits. I don't swear. Instead I say food names such as Cheeselogs and Butter biscuits. I am a multimillionaire. If you feel like dating me please contact me first."

"That's still not great, but it's definitely better than the last one." Sam said.

"Good, let's submit it." Danny said as he clicked the submit button. He turned around to face Sam.

"Anything else Cupid?" Sam said. Danny's smile was just as wicked as ever.

"Sam, Vlad is a halfa. Don't you think he should have ghostly dates along with human ones?"

"Danny…"

"Listen Sam, one quick trip into the ghost zone to see if they have a dating service or something. Maybe they even have the internet!" His blue eyes flashed green as thoughts of revenge on Vlad filled his head. This was going to be fun.

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As it turned out, ghosts were connected to the human internet. Danny asked around and found out that they more often then not simply use the same websites that humans used. Danny was extremely happy that it was so easy.

Sam and Danny went back to the Fenton house, and Danny instantly started up another account on This time the username was 1seriouslycrzdupFL. Danny didn't even bother to change the profile. He just used a picture of Vlad's ghost form instead of his human form.

Sam went home later and Danny passed the rest of the day chasing the Box Ghost. When he got home he went to bed he laid on it and said quietly, "Happy Valentines Day Vlad."

**_Okay, if you like it review, if not don't. One review will make the story continue, (or more of course. _**:) **_) but none will_ _make it come to a screeching halt. It'sCupidStupid .com is my own creation. Don't bother looking for it. You won't find Vlad on there. Okay, so all of the next chapters will be Vlad's dates, except maybe some of the second one because Danny and Sam need to look at all of the replies they get for Vlad…_**


	2. Emails For Vladdie

_**All I can say is Wow. You guys are great. Over twenty five reviews on the first chapter! Thank you all very much. Reviews are great moral boosters for those tough school days. I hope this chapter lives up to all of your expectations.**_

_**Please read the long author's note at the bottom when you are done with the chapter.**_

The next morning Danny sat up in bed and remembered what he had done the previous day. He smiled and quickly got dressed and went to his computer to check the replies. "Let's see just how many women are interested in Vlad."

Danny wasn't really expecting any. It had only been one day. He was just getting on to the internet when his mother called him.

"Danny! Sam's here!" he heard the front door close and waited a minute for Sam to come up to his room. She came in and saw his computer on.

"I should have known." She said. Danny smiled at her and went back to the computer. He checked his email and gasped. "What?" Sam said. "Are you surprised that he didn't get anything? I mean with that great profile you gave him he should be irresistible." Danny ignored the sarcasm. He moved over and showed Sam the screen.

Sam gasped too. There were over fifty replies for Vlad. Danny clicked on the first one.

"**Hey what's a _cool_ rich guy like _you_ doing single? I've been _looking_ for someone like _you_ for a _long _time. I'm _very _interested in you. _Please_ reply**."

Danny and Sam both read it a few times before Danny burst out laughing. "Who sent him that anyway?" He clicked on the name and stared at the picture of the person for a few minutes. Then he fell out of his chair and continued laughing.

Sam glanced at the picture and ended up staring at it in disbelief. It was a picture of a man. Danny finally managed to pull himself out of his laughing fit. He laughed more at the picture and finally went back to his email. "Hmm whose next?"

"**Ooh you look like my kind of man. Handsome, single, powerful, and most of all a millionaire. I'd love being you're girlfriend**."

"Hallelujah, we found a girl." Danny said. The email continued.

"**I like cheese and butter, nice things that come from cows, because cows are meat and I love meat. I hope you aren't a vegetarian. I'm a great cook, and I guess you could say that my ability with meat is almost "ghostly"… Actually, it is ghostly. I hope that doesn't spoil our relationship."**

"Uh oh." Sam and Danny said in unison. Danny clicked on the profile and the picture came up… of the lunch lady ghost. Danny burst out laughing again. Sam slapped him lightly and said, "Move on to the next one before you die from laughter."

Danny frowned playfully at her and then clicked on the next one.

"**Ooh, that's brave, posting that you are rich on an internet dating website! I love brave men, and it doesn't hurt that you are rich either. Please consider meeting me."**

"She sounds normal enough, time to go." Danny clicked the reply button and then wrote Vlad's address down.

"Danny, what are you doing! You can't just send Vlad's email to random women!" Danny ignored her and clicked send. Then he turned to Sam and smiled.

"Sam, are you up for a trip to Vlad's house?"

"Why would we do that?" Sam asked. Danny smiled again.

"You don't expect me to just wait for Vlad to visit me and beat me up when he finds out it's me sending him these women do you?" Sam said nothing and watched as Danny unplugged his laptop. "It's summer," Danny continued, "Tucker's at technology camp and we don't laugh enough without him."

He stood and his eyes flashed green. "I'm going to ask my parents if I can go to Vlad's house. We can take the specter speeder and stay in it. That way we'll have a good excuse for being away, and we can monitor Vlad's dates."

"You're crazy Danny." Sam said. "What makes you think that your parents will let you go to Vlad's house?"

Danny just smiled again. Sam squinted her eyes as two blue rings transformed him into Danny Phantom and he phased through the floor.

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"I can't believe that you can overshadow people and bend them to your will and you don't even feel any remorse." Sam said an hour later when they were in the specter speeder on the way to Wisconsin. Danny laughed.

"If Vlad's going to make me a full ghost when he finds out that I set him up I might as well enjoy the time I have left."

"That's not funny Danny." Sam said angrily. "What if that actually happens?"

Danny said nothing for a moment. "I can beat him Sam. Besides, as long as we're careful he won't realize we're watching him, and if he finds out that I set him up I'll already know what he's planning."

Sam sighed and decided not to pursue the topic because it was useless arguing with Danny once he made up his mind.

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Now, you may be wondering what Danny did exactly to get his parents too let him fly to Vlad's. It was very similar to what he did to get Sam's parents to let her go on the cross country trip with him.

"Da- I mean, Jack," Maddie said, sounding funny as she walked up to him. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Maddiecakes! What do you need?" He put his arm around her waste and she looked surprised and stepped away from him.

"Since Danny never got to go on that cross country trip he was hoping for, do you think you would mind letting him and Sam go to Vlad's house? Vlad already said that it was fine."

"Vladdie! Sure Danny and his friend can go! You know he's my friend from college! I trust him completely." Jack smiled and tried to hug Maddie but she pulled away again.

"Good, you'll have to call me- er, Danny on his cell phone because Vlad's phones are down. Make sure you remind me of this later when I start panicking because I can't remember where Danny went."

"Um, okay Maddie." Jack stared at her for a minute and then said, "Have your eyes always been green?"

"Uh oh." She said softly. Then she closed her eyes and fell into Jack's arms as Danny phased out of her and flew back up to his room to tell Sam the good news.

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The trip to Wisconsin takes three days by car, because of traffic and the need to obey the speed limit. But there are no rules on the sky, so they managed to make it to Vlad's castle in one day.

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Vlad stared through his magnifying glasses at a tiny invention he was working on. It was a tracker that would burrow painlessly into Daniel's skin and would be impossible to remove. It would not be felt any more than a mosquito bite, and would dig deep enough so that Danny would have no blemishes on his skin to alert him of the device.

He chuckled evilly and was just inserting the last piece when the doorbell rang. Vlad gasped and crushed the tracker between his tweezers. No one _ever _rang his doorbell. He made sure that he had built his second castle in an empty area, and he had no neighbors.

Then he realized that he had crushed the tracker.

"Whoever is at my door now has a date with death." He stood and slammed his hand on the desk, crushing the tracker more and making himself even angrier. He said several swear words that were less g-rated than cheeselogs.

The doorbell rang again and he stormed up the stairs of his lab and to the front door. He yanked it nearly off its hinges and saw a very startled lady. There was nothing notable about her really, but seeing her made Vlad nervous, and he instantly lost his fury. Why would a woman be standing at his door?

"Hello?" He asked nervously. She looked past him into his mansion, and Vlad was glad that a maid regularly cleaned it.

"Wow, you really are rich!" She said.

"H-how can I help you?" Vlad said.

"Are you one crazed up fruitloop?" She asked.

Vlad stared at her for a moment and then his anger returned full blast. "Get off of my lawn!" He slammed the door in her face and it wobbled and threatened to fall on her, but it held on.

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"Darn." Danny said from the specter speeder, which was hovering overhead. "We'll just have to make sure to tell his dates that his name is Vlad, or else he'll get suspicious." He watched as the women stared at the door and then turned and walked away looking frightened.

Danny turned on his laptop and opened his email. "Now who's next?"

_**Okay, I hope that was a good chapter.**_

_**I've had an idea and I would like to try it, but the thing is, I need your help. Any readers who want to can do it, and I think you would have a lot of fun doing it.**_

_**Would you like to make a date for Vlad? I mean after all, he is on a dating website, so there will be a very wide variety of women for him. I think you all understand that it should be a bad date. There are thousands of people out there who would do anything to marry a rich guy. Not many of them are prizes.**_

_**So I am asking you to do this for me. In your review please write a profile and a brief description of your character. It does not have to be long. Remember, you don't have to do anything.**_

**_If you are embarrassed of your character, for example, if she (or he) is really gay or weird like the one I described and you don't want to be associated with that person, just ask me in your review and I will not put your name on the chapter. I will dedicate the chapter to whoever gives me a character and does not ask to be hidden._**

_**I will accept any and all characters, ghost and human, but please remember that gay's are not funny after they've been used so many times, and people might take offense to that. Vlad is not gay.**_

_**I will also add character's of my own in too, but there are only so many things I can think up, and if you want this story to be long you need to help.**_

_**Once again, thank you for your support.**_


	3. Becca Barlett

**_You guys never cease to amaze me. Thank you all for sending in characters. The variety of personalities is great. I will draw characters at random from a box so that I don't have to choose._**

_**This chapter is dedicated to Bewarethedarkness, who sent in the character Becca Barlett. Thank you for this great character! I hope she's what you thought she would be like.**_

Vlad sighed and listened to the peace and quiet. He had sent the women who had called him crazy away, and now he was feeling much calmer. Then he realized just how tired he was, and he decided to go to bed.

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The next morning he woke up to a pair of brown eyes staring into his.

He jumped several feet in the air, and landed on the floor. Vlad stared crazily at the women who had invaded his home, and was glad that he wore pajamas while he slept. She stared back, and Vlad noticed that whoever she was, she seemed to like the color black.

She wore a black polo neck, a black overcoat, which she had her hands concealed in, black pants of some sort, and black combat boots. A black bandana was tied around her neck in a cowboy fashion. Her hair was also black, and cut short. Vlad noticed that her clothes seemed almost a little unnecessarily baggy.

"W-w-who are you?" he asked, still dazed. The women stared at him and then replied.

"I'm Becca Barlett. Are you Vlad Masters?" Her voice sounded jumpy, like she was paranoid.

"Yeah." Vlad said staring at her. Then he mentally smacked himself. He stood up and regained some composure. "What are you doing in my house!" Vlad yelled.

Becca jumped back in surprise and started to pull something from her pocket, and Vlad saw a flash of metal. Then she put her hand back in her pocket. "I'm here for our date." Vlad instantly lost the little bit of composure he had regained.

"What?" he said looking shocked.

"I am here for our date. You and I are going to have a date together." Her voice became a whisper, and Vlad thought that she said, "Or else."

"Or else?" He asked, not quite believing what he had heard. Becca watched him carefully and then took her hand out of her pocket, minus whatever she had been holding earlier. She grabbed his wrist and began pulling him out of his room.

Vlad, still in a daze, forgot that he was part ghost for a moment and punched Becca in the stomach. His hand met something solid, much too solid to be her actual stomach, and he heard his hand make a crunch noise.

Becca almost smiled as she used her other hand to pull up her shirt and reveal body armor. "You can't escape me Vlad. I know what I'm doing." She turned and started pulling Vlad down the hallway when he finally remembered that he could go intangible.

He phased through her hand and started to run. She turned and pulled something out of her pocket. To Vlad's horror it was a gun. Vlad ran faster, wishing that this hallway wasn't so straight and long. He could hear Becca catching up to him, her footsteps almost silent.

A blast hit the ceiling a few yards in front of him and it collapsed, blocking the hallway. Vlad was trapped. He turned and saw Becca running towards him, stuffing one gun into one pocket and pulling another gun out of another.

Vlad prepared to turn intangible when he heard the gunshot but it never came. Instead there was a whoosh and he was trapped in a net.

Becca crouched down and stared at him with her brown eyes. She had her bandanna pulled over her mouth, and Vlad was almost positive that she was smiling triumphantly. He could have easily phased out of the net, but then he would reveal to Becca that he wasn't quite human. He was not going to do that if he didn't have to.

Vlad sighed and then said, "Fine, we'll go on a date." Becca pulled off the bandana revealing exactly what Vlad suspected, a triumphant smile.

"I was expecting you to do something like this. Everyone said I was paranoid but they were wrong."

"Right… Would you mind letting me go into my room to change?" Vlad was planning to ditch her as soon as she let him out of her sight.

"Not unless I watch you." She said seriously. Vlad gasped and felt his face turn red.

"W-w-what?"

"You probably have some sort of passageway out of your room, and as soon as I let you out of my sight you'll ditch me. So no, you can't change unless I watch you." Vlad stared at her helplessly.

"I can't go out in my pajamas." He said. She started pulling things out of her jacket. Vlad watched as she pulled out weapon after weapon after weapon, and a large pile was forming on the floor. Vlad stared in half terror half boredom as she produced enough weapons from her overcoat to supply several armies.

Then she began searching through the pile for weapons she could easily carry. She strapped what looked like a utility belt around her waist and began filling that with weapons too. Next she strapped weapons to a belt that ran over her shoulder, and began putting smaller things like knives into her boots.

When she was finally done transferring weapons, there were only two things left on the floor. A huge bazooka that looked too big for anyone to hold, and the overcoat. She ripped the net and pulled Vlad out. Then she handed him her overcoat.

"You can wear this." Vlad was afraid of what would happen if he _didn't _take it, and he put it on. She picked up the bazooka and forced Vlad to walk out to his car. Vlad's chauffer saw the lady with the bazooka coming and ran off screaming.

Vlad sat in the driver's seat and Becca sat in the passenger. She had the bazooka on her lap. "Where should we go?" Vlad asked questioningly. "To a resteraunt?" he didn't think that they would let Becca in with all of her weapons, but maybe the police would arrest her.

"No, someone I caught before might be there, and they might want to take revenge on me." Vlad sighed. He had no experience dating.

"Okay, how about a movie?" She shook her head.

"Too dark, someone might sneak up on us, or you might sneak out on me." Vlad was starting to get irritated, because she had foiled another one of his escape plans. Paranoid people seemed to do that a lot.

"Fine, what do you suggest we do?" There was silence for a few minutes.

"We could go hunting" she said finally.

"What?" Vlad looked at her in disbelief.

"I need to catch this guy who has escaped jail. There's a thirty thousand dollar reward on head, and I plan on earning that."

"Look," Vlad said putting his arm around her. "This isn't working out." He phased his hand into her head and pressed a nerve. Becca passed out instantly. Vlad wiped sweat off of his forehead. Then he took Becca's coat off of him and wrapped her up in it so that she couldn't move.

Then he went back into his house, got dressed, and called the police. They came and arrested Becca for attempted murder.

Vlad sighed and massaged his temples. At least he was rid of that psycho.

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Danny and Sam had been following the chain of events from cameras that Sam had bought and Danny had set up around the mansion. Danny was laughing and Sam couldn't help but laugh too.

"Did you see Vlad's face when he woke up?" Danny laughed and then decided who he should torture Vlad with next.

_**Once again, thank you Bewarethedarkness.**_

_**If anyone has more characters than the one you already submitted feel free to submit it. The more the merrier! **_


	4. Abby Klik

_**Okay, I apologize to lindy12 for not asking you ahead of time but I named your character for you.**_

**_This chapter is dedicated to lindy12 for creating the character Abby Klik._**

Vlad almost didn't want to open the door when he heard another knock. He stood by the door for a minute and whoever was on the other side continued knocking until Vlad couldn't stand the noise anymore.

He pulled the door open and was about to yell at the person for trespassing when he saw that it was another woman. Well, teenager was more accurate. She was eighteen and very pretty. She had light brown almost blond hair, and was wearing high heels that looked about four inches high.

She looked at him, her hand still up in the air as if to knock again. Then she said something that sounded like, "Ew."

Vlad raised one eyebrow and said, "Excuse me?"

She smiled, revealing bleached white teeth and said, "You're excused."

Vlad sighed. "No, I mean what did you say?"

The girl looked at him like he was stupid. "I said you're excused because you said 'excuse me'. Are you like, deaf?"

"No, when I first opened the door you said something that sounded like 'ew' and I asked you what you had said." He started rubbing his temples. Another headache was forming just after he had gotten rid of the one caused by that Becca girl. Any more aspirin and he would pass out.

"Well you said 'excuse me' and that sounds nothing like 'what did you say'."

Vlad counted to ten and restrained himself from blasting this girl off of his doorstep. "You can say 'excuse me' instead of 'what did you say' and it means the same thing. Just please give me a straight answer."

He didn't know why he cared so much, but he decided that after all of the trouble this girl had been giving him he had better get an answer of some sort.

"Well fine silly you just had to say please! I said 'how cute' because you are cute and rich!" Vlad sighed. He didn't believe that for a second, but he didn't really care. Then she said something that only confused Vlad more. "You know, I looked all around Florida for you on the internet, but it turned out you were like, in Wisconsin!"

"Why would you think I live in Florida?" Vlad said looking at her tiredly.

She scoffed. "Look pops, I made it halfway through the tenth grade. I know that the initials for Florida are FL."

"Um, I see." Vlad said not seeing any connection whatsoever. "I almost hate to ask, but what are you doing here?"

"Like you don't know silly!" She walked over to his limo and said, "Wow a limo! I knew you were rich, but this is great!" She climbed inside, and Vlad walked over angrily. The chauffer was still off somewhere. "Come on!" she said. "We'll be late to dinner!"

Vlad stared at her before the tinted glass window rolled up. Was he going crazy? Three women in a row wanting to date him, and none of them actually even knew him. He looked around carefully and half expected Daniel to be standing behind him laughing. No one was there.

He sighed for what felt like the fiftieth time that day and climbed into the driver's seat. "Where's the guy who drives the car?" The girl said. Vlad realized he didn't even know her name.

"He's… on vacation. By the way what's your-"

"Favorite restaurant?" She said. "I want to go to La Ane" Vlad groaned inwardly. La Ane, which meant, "The Donkey" in French, was one of the worst restaurants Vlad had ever gone to. That and it was also the most expensive.

"Why there? Can't we go to a diner or something?"

She frowned. "A diner! That's where I work! I don't want to eat at a place where I would work!" Vlad stared at her, surprised by the outburst. Then she calmed down. "Besides, I'm with a rich guy, so I can eat whatever I want."

Vlad said nothing and simply watched her examine her nails. Then he turned and drove to the stupid restaurant with the radio blaring the news so that he wouldn't have to listen to her babble.

He pulled into the parking lot and turned off the radio. "BRING ME TOOO LIIIIIIIIFFFE!" Vlad covered his ears and turned to look at the teenager, who had ear buds jammed in her ears and was singing along with whatever song was on her MP3 player. Unfortunately for Vlad she was singing rather badly.

He waved his hand in front of her face and she pulled the ear buds out of her ears. "It's about time. I could barely hear myself sing with that boring music you were playing. What was that stuff, adult rap?"

Vlad looked at her in disbelief. He didn't say anything and got out of the car. She followed and led the way into the restaurant. Vlad detested it already.

They went inside and the girl walked up to the waiter. "Reservation for two under the name Abby Klik please." Vlad let out a sigh of relief. He finally knew her name. "Sorry for being late but my date kept asking me stupid questions about grammar." Vlad glared at her, but she either didn't notice or didn't care.

She was lead towards a table by another waiter and Vlad started to follow when he was stopped by the first waiter. "Monsieur Masters, I knew you were, how do you Americans say, rich, but…" Vlad closed his eyes and counted to ten.

"Cut off the fake accent and tell me what you are talking about before I grow too impatient and leave the girl with the bill. You and I both know she can't afford it." The waiter winced.

He leaned over and whispered, "I didn't think you were dirty enough to rent out a prostitute. Can I have her when you're done?"

Vlad felt his face turn beet red. That seemed to be happening a lot recently. "She is not a, um, prostitute." he whispered in the waiter's ear, because he knew that there were always tabloid writers after him and he could just see the headlines "MILLIONAIRE HIRES PROSTITUTE!"

The waiter smiled a terribly disbelieving smile and said, resuming his fake accent "But of course, Monsieur." Vlad just barely managed to keep his eyes from flaring red. The waiter led him to his table where Abby was waiting.

"What took you so long? I already ordered for the both of us." She stood up and tucked the edge of the tablecloth down the front of Vlad's suit, much to Vlad's terror and the waiter's amusement. He reached to pull it out. "Don't make me tuck it back in again!" she said sweetly.

Vlad put his hand down and looked at the menu, which was all in French. "What did you order?"

"That's a surprise silly!"

"So… tell me about yourself." Vlad said not really caring about Abby but still knowing it was the polite thing to do.

"My, you are a dirty man Vladdie." He winced. "I am a waitress at the 'Eat More Grow More Diner'" Vlad stared at her. "It's a place where they believe bigger is better so they make all of the food servings bigger and add addicting drugs to make the consumer want to eat more." Vlad waited for her to say, "just kidding" but she never did.

Finally the food came and the first thing Vlad realized was that it didn't look like anything he had ever seen- alive or dead. He almost expected it to look at him and start licking its lips. To his disgust Abby had ordered the same thing… and she had started eating it with both hands.

"Mmm, you know what this needs? Some of the old diner's addictive spray." She stopped eating for a moment and took out a spray can from a purse Vlad hadn't even realized she had had. She sprayed it on her food and, before Vlad could stop her, on his food too. Then she resumed eating.

Vlad watched, now positive that he was never going to come here again. She began talking again- with her mouth full, and she splattered some of the food on Vlad's face. "I love it here. I love you. I hope we can have many more dinners like this together." Vlad shuddered and decided it was time to leave.

He stood up and then realized that the tablecloth was still tucked down the front of his suit. The food flew, because he had stood up too quickly, and covered Abby. Vlad stood still, looking at Abby who was fuming, the waiter who was laughing, and the large number of people standing around with cameras.

Vlad ripped the table cloth out of his suit and ran from the restaurant, leaving Abby to deal with the bill, and the numerous embarrassing questions that would follow his departure.

On the way home he could have sworn he heard laughter in the backseat, but when he looked, no one was there. "You're losing it Vladimir." He said to himself.

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Danny covered Sam's mouth to stop her from laughing any more. She had loved what Vlad had done to the preppy girl he was with, and couldn't stop laughing. They had followed Vlad invisibly, and once Danny could have sworn that Vlad looked right at him.

He decided that they would watch from a distance from now on. He had only had two dates, and this was the only one where he had gone somewhere. Danny had to cover his own mouth when he heard Vlad say, "You're losing it Vladimir" and decided that that was exactly what he planned on making Vladimir do.

_**Yay! I liked this chapter. I hope you guys all enjoyed it, and thanks again to lindy12 for the character Abby Klik!**_


	5. Rainbow

_**Long chapter here. Well, long for me anyways. I hope you guys liked it, I kind of rambled…**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to MissMeliss4251 for bringing us the character, Rainbow.**_

thump

Vlad sighed and turned towards the door. He had been setting up a camera monitor on a hidden panel by the door so that he could actually see who was at the door before he answered it, but unfortunately it wasn't working yet and someone was at his front door.

thump

Vlad stood still, waiting for whoever it was to actually knock instead of what sounded like walking into his door.

thump "Ow!"

Vlad rolled his eyes and turned into his ghost form. Maybe he could scare whoever it was away. He didn't really want anymore company after the last two. Then he noticed that he hadn't heard another thump sound and opened the door cautiously.

Then something slammed into him.

Vlad was thrown backwards with whatever the thing was in his arms, and was glad he was in his ghost form or else he would have been sent sprawling onto the floor. He landed lightly on his feet and then pulled whatever had crashed into him off.

He gasped and dropped the thing when he realized it was another woman.

She had a tie dye shirt on, that seemed to flow around her skinny frame. She had long brown hair and was wearing bell bottoms. Vlad realized that he hadn't seen someone dressed like that since the sixties. She looked up at him with half closed brown eyes.

"Like, hi. Are you Vlad Plasmius?"

Vlad gasped and teleported out of the room. No one knew that he was called Vlad Plasmius except Daniel and the ghosts in the Ghost Zone. Heck, Jack and Maddie called him The Wisconsin Ghost. If word was spreading to the human world that both he and a ghost both live in the same house and both have the name Vlad…

He panicked and thought maybe he could just leave her in the Ghost Zone. That sounded like a good plan. Then she wouldn't be able to figure out his secret identity unless a ghost told her, and then she still wouldn't be able to escape…

Still very nervous, Vlad teleported back into the room where he had left the woman. She was sitting on the floor doing what appeared to be meditation.

Then she looked at Vlad and smiled. "I didn't know anyone else my age with our sparkling vibes could be single." Vlad just watched her, still unsure of what to do.

"Your groovy pad totally blows my mind, Rev. That door is weird though, I couldn't phase through it."

Vlad gave her a questioning look. "Rev? My name's Vlad Plasmius." And then after a pause, "Wait, you're a ghost?" He looked at her, especially the eyes, and didn't see one thing that would reveal her being a ghost. That and she didn't trigger his ghost sense.

"Rev is short for Revolution" She said still looking around. "And I think it's a groovy name. Mind if I call you that? I'm Rainbow, by the way."

Vlad stared at her and then shook his head to clear it. "Sure, whatever. But are you a ghost?"

"Rev, you're too tense. Chill man. It's the Age of Aquarius after all. Can't you feel the love in this room? We're all just groovy brothers and sisters in this big spinning universe." Vlad just wanted to throw her out of his house, but he knew he wouldn't ever sleep again until he found out how she knew he was Vlad Plasmius.

"Please just answer my question! Are. You. A. Ghost?"

"Rev, your aura is a mess. I can just feel the anger filling the room. Chill out, you're breaking the calm."

"I'm breaking the calm am I? You're the fourth woman who has shown up at my house and none of you have been at all sane! No one rings my doorbell for years and suddenly three girls one after another! All I asked is are you a ghost and since you're a hippie you can't even give me a straight answer. I'm not breaking the calm; it's you and your stupid hippiness!"

Vlad could feel his eyes burning with anger, and the way he was feeling he was pretty sure he was about to explode.

"That's right Rev, let it all out. Out with the bad aura, in with the good." Vlad felt a twitch develop in his eye. Rainbow stood and said, "Do you have any organic foods? That's always good for the soul."

Vlad ground his teeth together. "Let's try another question," he said sounding strained. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here for you, Rev. You're a groovy guy, inviting a ghost like me into your bachelor pad." Vlad felt like he was going to scream. He decided he didn't like hippies very much.

"You mean, you're here to date me?" She nodded. Vlad pressed his temples, something which was quickly becoming a habit, and then looked up and yelled, "Daniel, I know you're around somewhere!"

"Dude, yelling at the sky is like, totally groovy Rev. Who's this Daniel guy?"

Vlad closed his eyes and tried to explain his suspicions. "Look, you were probably asked to do this by someone weren't you?" He opened his red eyes and looked at her.

"No Revolution, I totally did this because I wanted to." Vlad's eyes widened.

"You mean that you weren't put up to this by a teenager?" She shook her head. "You weren't bribed or anything?" another negative. "You're positive you never even saw a teenager ghost with white hair?"

"No, Rev. You're like, tense. You need to chill and keep the calm."

"So you're sure that you have never heard of anyone named Danny Phantom?" Vlad said feeling more confused than ever. If Daniel wasn't forcing all of these women to come to his house then who or what was?

"Nah, we're all just brothers and sisters in this universe, and I would know my own brother." She blinked as if even she was confused by what she had just said.

Vlad bit his tongue to keep from swearing at her. Then he decided it was "Now tell me, are you a ghost, or are you a human?" To Vlad's surprise she gave him a straight answer. Well, sort of.

"Yeah man, I am as dead as a dead chick can get. Here, I'll prove it." She walked towards a wall, tripping on the carpet as she went. Then she turned and smiled at Vlad right before… smacking into the wall.

Rainbow backed up, looking like she was going to pass out, and then tried again. This time she bounced off the wall and fell over. Vlad managed to keep himself from laughing. "Dude, what's this wall made of? It must be ghost-proof. Why did you make you're whole house ghost proof it you're a ghost?"

Then she climbed up onto a chair and jumped off. "Wow, Rev, this place is groovy and all, but it's harshing my mellow since it's canceling out my powers." Vlad rolled his eyes and realized that she was indeed human. Then he smacked his face with his palm when he remembered that he should have realized this earlier when she had said that the door must be ghost proof. It was an ordinary door.

"Rainbow, you're not a ghost." He said. "I am a ghost. I have red eyes, yours are brown. I have ghost powers and you smack into walls. You are a human."

"I'm a ghost Rev. I died in 1975. Stop trying to murder the mellow."

Vlad snapped. "Fine, you're a ghost." He lifted her up by her arm and flew her down to his secret lab. Then he opened up the ghost portal. "And you know where ghosts belong? In there!" He threw her through the portal and turned away from it.

He began to walk up the stairs when he looked back at the swirling green vortex. Vlad sighed and wanted to smack himself for being soft. He flew through the portal to find Rainbow.

Vlad looked around and noticed that there were no ghosts around. That was odd, because usually there were always quite a few waiting for his orders. But, Vlad was glad there were no ghosts around to here him yell this. "Rainbow! Where are you?"

He was embarrassed just to hear himself say something so stupid. He was even more embarrassed when he heard laughter behind him. Vlad turned angrily and saw that it was Skulker. His face turned a weird purple shade, (since it was blue, and blushing red would make it purple) and he tried to hide that behind a very angry glare.

Skulker, however, was not intimidated by Vlad's glare. "Did you lose something Plasmius?" he said still chuckling between words. "Like your masculinity perhaps?" Vlad felt his eyes burn with anger and blasted Skulker with several ecto-beams.

"Actually Skulker I have lost something quite different. Did you see a woman come in here? A human woman?" Skulker floated limply. Two of his limbs were missing and there was a large hole through his chest. He was just glad Vlad had spared his head where his real ghost form was.

That didn't mean he wasn't done laughing at Vlad though. Vlad gave he, Skulker, the Ghost Zone's greatest hunter, orders all of the time and if Skulker refused to follow them he would be punished. Not much to lose really. He was already dead.

"The great Vlad Plasmius is trying to find a mate? I know some ghosts I could hook you up with." He laughed. "But it looks like you're not having much luck if your dates are running into the Ghost Zone trying to get away from you."

Vlad moved foreword before Skulker could react and pulled the little green blob that was Skulker out of the robot head. He held it by the arm and glared at it. "Now listen to me Skulker. I am in no mood to be toyed with. If you don't tell me whether or not you saw a human here a minute ago I will be forced to make things rather… unpleasant."

He created an ectobeam in his palm and held it under Skulker. He squealed and said in a high pitched voice, "Alright, alright! Just don't hurt me! I saw some weird tie-died girl fall through here right before you came." He pointed towards a door that was floating under them.

"A ghost grabbed her and flew in there." Vlad closed his eyes and inwardly cursed the fact that there was always something against him.

"Fine." He said, dropping Skulker, who fell a few feet before floating back up. "Did you know who the ghost was?" Skulker shook his head, which was a hard thing to do since he technically had no neck, and Vlad sighed and flew through the door.

He looked around at the change in scenery. The walls were all tie-dye, beads hung from the ceiling, and there were flowers stenciled everywhere. "Rev!" A voice said suddenly. Vlad pulled back a curtain of beads and saw Rainbow surrounded by several other green skinned hippie ghosts.

Rainbow smiled and pointed at Vlad. "This is the groovy guy who showed me how to get to this wonderful place. He's sort of a calm eater, but he's cool." One of the ghosts, a man with long hair and a beard, floated over to Vlad and made a peace sign with his hands.

"Dude, we welcome you to our groovy pad. I can just feel the flower power flying off you man." He inspected Vlad, who felt very uncomfortable and wanted to leave. "I dig the outfit man, totally retro, but it could use a little love."

"What?" Vlad said nervously.

"You're too tense. Black and white are the old colors. You need something psychedelic. Something groovy, man." He waved his hand and suddenly Vlad's costume went from white to tie-dye. Vlad looked down and gasped.

"And now we have to do something about that hair…" Vlad turned and flew away before the ghost could do anything else.

He flew as fast as he could back to his portal, and on the way he passed Skulker who was gathering up pieces of his broken suit. Skulker saw Vlad fly past and burst out laughing.

Vlad made it into his mansion and closed the portal. He changed into his human form and then back into his ghost form. That usually fixed any tears in his suit. Unfortunately it did nothing to fix the color.

Vlad floated up to his room and took his ghost suit off. He changed into some sweatpants and a shirt and went down to the laundry room, still in his ghost form. He didn't know if the suit would disappear when he changed into his human form, and then he didn't think he would be able to get it back.

He found the laundry room and put his suit in the washing machine. He also put in some bleach he had found. Vlad sighed. After having a maid for so many years he had forgotten how to do laundry.

Still unsure of whether or not he could change into his human form he sat down on a chair next to the washing machine. The door opened and the maid walked in. She saw Vlad sitting there looking half embarrassed half worried, and said simply, "If you're going to do the laundry you could have at least asked my permission first."

Vlad blinked and said, "Um, I'm a ghost."

"Yeah, and I'm a human. That still gives you no right to use the washing machine." She turned and left and Vlad wondered for the first time what kind of a staff he had.

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Danny and Sam had followed Vlad through the date, and he couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before Vlad found out who had set him up.

_**Wow, on word this is a six page chapter. Well, once again thank you MissMeliss4251!**_


	6. Dr Lauren Goddfrey

_**Random authors note: In case some of you don't realize this I'll tell you now. I'm trying to be as fair as I can by drawing the character names at random out of a box. It's fun for me because I always have to be ready for whatever plot twists they bring.**_

_**Anyway, here's chapter six. This one is dedicated to Epona Harper for creating Dr. Lauren Goddfrey for me to use!**_

Vlad pulled his costume out of the washing machine and groaned. It was still just as tie-died as when it went into the wash. "Hippies…" He muttered dismally. He could just imagine Daniel's reaction when he saw him in this.

Maybe he would ask the maid later what to do. She didn't seem to mind a ghost haunting the laundry room. Vlad turned the costume intangible to dry it off and then put it on. As much as he disliked the costume, the idea of changing into his ghost form and finding that he was wearing nothing was even worse.

He sighed and changed back into his human form. Vlad never really liked staying in his ghost form too long, and changing back to normal felt like waking up in your warm bed after dreaming that you were freezing to death. Right as he changed back to normal, his ghost sense went off.

"This had better not be a hippie ghost who thinks she's a human." He said, following his ghost sense to the front door. He opened it, not really surprised when he saw a female ghost. "Let me guess, you're here to date me." She seemed taken aback.

"That was either extreme cleverness or extreme cockiness, Mr. um, Plasmius." She looked at Vlad for a moment, adjusting her glasses as she did so. "Oh, pardon me; you're not Mr. Vlad Plasmius." Vlad closed his eyes and began to explain. He thought all ghosts knew about him being a halfa.

"Look, I am Vlad Plasmius. I'm part ghost and part human, and at the moment I am in my human form." Her lips turned into a flat line and she had a look of scorn in her green eyes.

"It is impossible to be half one species and half another." She said.

"But I am." Vlad said. He could tell right away that he was not going to like this woman.

"Sir, I have a double doctorate in microbiology and biochemistry. Before I died I was a career teacher at a major university." She laughed shortly. "I proved many séances and psychics and other 'paranormal'" when she said paranormal she held up to fingers on each hand and made the annoying little quotation mark sign "sightings to be frauds."

"Tell me then," Vlad said beginning to get annoyed, "How do you explain the fact that you became a ghost?"

She blushed embarrassedly and said, "Well, er." She straightened up and said. "I am a manifestation of emotions of the real, late, Dr. Lauren Goddfrey, nothing more than a memory brought to life through delusion." As she said this she looked sad, as though she didn't like thinking of herself as a deluded manifestation, but then again, who would?

"Fine, okay, you win. I'll go get… Vlad Plasmius." He closed the door, and almost just walked away from it, but since Lauren Goddfrey was a ghost she could just phase through the door. "I have got to get a better security system." He said changing into a ghost.

He had completely forgotten that his white costume was now tie-dyed, and groaned. Vlad looked at the door just as Lauren phased through it. "Unreliable staff, leaving me waiting at the door like that." She saw Vlad and said, "Oh, you must be Mr… Oh no. Not a hippie!"

Vlad held his composure. "Ah, my um, staff told me to expect you. Miss Lauren Goddfrey I presume?" She looked very unhappy

"You can call me Dr. Goddfrey, sir." She floated around Vlad, as if inspecting him. "You do realize that the sixties ended almost forty years ago right?"

Vlad sighed and began once again to explain. "This wasn't my fault… Dr., I was trying to save someone when this happened." He hated calling the woman, Doctor, but it seemed like the only way she would allow Vlad to address her.

"Mmhm, sure. Tell me Vlad, what kind of hero has blue skin and vampire teeth?" Vlad looked embarrassed. He did look like a villain more than a hero… "If you ask me you are just a hippie."

Vlad rolled his eyes. "Just a hippie, huh?" He disliked Dr. Goddfrey more and more as time passed.

"Yes, but it just so happens I can prove anything you believe, false." She smiled proudly. "I am a professional skeptic after all."

"That's a wonderful trait." He said very sarcastically.

"What!" she demanded.

"Nothing, Dr." Vlad said smiling widely and showing off his vampire teeth. Lauren shuddered, much to Vlad's amusement. "Something wrong?"

"No." she said. "So, what is it you personally believe as a hippie? That flower power is real? That it's the Age of Aquarius?"

Vlad smiled. He decided he might as well have a little fun while he was being forced to listen to this woman who had no intention of listening to him. "Yeah man, peace, love, and all that jazz." He closed his eyes halfway, only feeling slightly humiliated. "Can't you feel the um, closeness we all have?"

He was so glad that only Lauren Goddfrey was watching.

Dr. Goddfrey seemed shocked at the sudden change in Vlad's attitude. "Mr. Plasmius," she said sounding nervous, "Are you, um, alright?"

"Everything's groovy Dr. G." He said. "But I thought you were going to prove my beliefs wrong? Is something," He laughed, "harshing your mellow?" She became very angry when she realized what was going on.

"You're mocking me!"

Vlad smirked, and dropped the hippie act. "You caught me." He said simply. "But who can blame me? You're a ghost who doesn't believe in ghosts."

She glared furiously at him. "How dare you! I'll have you know that I am incredibly intelligent and you are nothing but a disillusioned, stupid, illogical, hippie!" Vlad just smiled again.

"And you are a simply a ghost who can not accept her fate." He said. "And guess what?"

"What now hippie?" she said angrily.

"You've been wrong since I first opened the door." Two black rings changed Vlad into his human form. Dr. Goddfrey gasped and began to stutter.

"But, that's not possible! You can't just change from one creature into another, it just isn't scientifically correct!"

"Boo." Vlad said, still smiling.

"I must be dreaming." She said. "Yes, that's it. That is the only explanation for all of this nonsense." She looked at Vlad. "I'm going to leave now."

"You do that." He said. She floated through the door and Vlad sighed. Then he changed into his ghost form again. Maybe he could find that maid and ask her how to get the tie-dye out of his costume.

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"You were right, ghost child. This is a most amusing way to get revenge." Skulker had been watching the whole date with Sam and Danny. In fact, he was the one who gave Lauren Goddfrey Vlad's address.

Danny had decided that Skulker deserved to see Vlad humiliated too, and now Vlad had not only acted like a hippie in front of Dr. Goddfrey, but in front of three other people.

Skulker smirked as he replayed the date, if you could call it that, in his mind. Literally. He had the whole thing recorded. "Most amusing indeed."

_**Sorry Unrealistic, I stole your idea to have Skulker join Danny and Sam. Do you mind? I thought it was a very good idea.**_


	7. Zehcnas Aniluap?

_**Yay! 100 reviews at last! (is booed by her angry readers) Sorry for being so late on the update, but I've been busy with my other story Count Vladimir. (tomatoes are thrown) Okay, Okay! I had writers block too.**_

_**Anyway, I can't thank you guys enough for finally pushing the review counter over into the hundreds. It made my year I think. This is the first story to make it up past 99 that I've been able to comment on, because the only other one that made it made it after I was finished with the story. As a special reward you get this long chapter! Well, it's short by FF's standards, but it's seven pages on Microsoft Word, and almost three thousand words!**_

_**Enough thanking and apologizing. This chapter is dedicated to HiddenAuthor and Grumbles, who both suggested this character to me. **_

Sam glanced back at Danny, who was sleeping, and then at Skulker who was apparently watching the last date over again. She turned her attention back to the computer screen, trying very hard not to laugh. It was just too good a chance to pass up. She sent an email with Vlad's address and name to Zehcnas Aniluap, whose profile claimed she was "A pretty, young lady, interested in affluent older men." and decided to go to bed.

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Vlad had finally gotten all of the dye out of his costume and was glad that there hadn't been anymore people at his door for a while. He was just about to relax in his study when the doorbell rang again. Then he heard his front door open and close. He stood angrily and stormed out to the front door.

A young girl stood staring at him with her hands on her hips. Vlad decided she was about fourteen or fifteen. "So when are you going to learn some manners when you're around someone as beautiful and popular as me?" She said with a strong Latino accent.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Vlad said angrily. He was not going to be nice to some brat who thought she could barge into his house and start bossing him around. He was the adult around here, and he was not going to listen to a prissy teen's demands.

"Well you know me from my screen name as Zehc-nas… um, well, just call me Paulina ok?" She had trouble pronouncing whatever the word that started with a Z was, and Vlad assumed that this girl cared more about her looks than her grades. He had absolutely no clue what she meant by 'screen name' though.

"What are you doing in my house?" he demanded. Paulina flipped her hair and acted offended.

"I had to beg my papa to buy me a plane ticket to fly all the way here just to meet you, and you can't remember why I'm here?" She frowned. "At least you're rich, or else this would have been a waste of my time."

Vlad was having a very hard time remaining calm. After all of the women he had encountered recently, he was in no mood to be insulted by a minor. He took a deep breath and counted to ten. "Look Paulina, I don't know how you got this address, or why you seem to think I asked you to come here, but I didn't. I will buy you a ticket back to wherever it is you came from and even give you a refund for your trip here."

Paulina glared at Vlad like he was a lower life form at school who dared to speak in her presence. "I came here to get rich, and I won't let un anciano stand in my way." Vlad just barely managed to keep his eyes from glowing red. Paulina had just called him an old man, and Vlad took Spanish in high school.

"I'm only in my early forties." he said, for lack of anything better to say. Paulina blinked in surprise. It was rare that anyone knew what she was saying to them in Spanish. That didn't faze her too much though.

"Then why is your hair white?"

Vlad sighed. He had often wondered how he would explain to people why his hair was white even though he was forty. Usually no one would dare to ask. "That doesn't matter." He said. "Now I will ask you again, and maybe you can answer me this time. What are you doing in my house?"

"Waiting for you to take me on a date and eventually marry me so I can get your money of course!" Vlad just stared at her in shock. "A man desperate enough to say that he is a multimillionaire to thousands of strangers can't be too picky, and as long as I get free access to all of your money and you still let me flirt with Danny Phantom then I will agree to marry you."

Vlad felt his eyes blaze red at the mention of Daniel's name. That, and the fact that Paulina presumed he was a desperate man. Well, maybe he was kind of desperate... "How do you know Danny Phantom?" he said, ignoring her other insults for a moment. "Did he send you here?"

Paulina didn't notice Vlad's eyes suddenly change color, and said, "Of course he didn't send me here! He's only the most handsome guy in the world, and if I wasn't marrying you then he would be my marido." She paused, thinking. "Is it illegal to have more than one husband in Wisconsin?"

"We're not getting married!" Vlad yelled. "I don't plan on getting married anytime soon and if I was, I certainly wouldn't get married to you. Now get out of my house!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her out the front door. Vlad released her and she stood there looking shocked.

"No one turns down Paulina Sanchez!" she screamed at him as he went back into his house. "You'll be sorry I ever graced you with my presence you-" Vlad slammed the door and locked it. He heard her stomp away and let out a sigh. Finally he was rid of that girl. That would be the last he would ever see of her.

Yeah right.

A few hours later Vlad heard a knock at the door. He groaned and ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would go away. They knocked a few more times before he heard someone yell, "Open up, it's the police!" Vlad gasped and hurried to open the door.

The person who yelled was a short fat man in a blue police uniform. He looked at Vlad like he was a hideous insect. Vlad noticed this and almost glared at the policeman, but managed not to. He cleared his throat and said, "Are you Mr. Vlad Masters?" Vlad nodded and extended his hand to shake the officer's, but the officer stared at it as if he was suspicious of where it had been.

"Mr. Masters, it has come to our department's attention that you are a lonely bachelor in your forties, and you have often been seen with… questionable company. Pedophilia is a very serious crime Mr. Masters."

"What!?" Vlad said, both shocked and on the verge of laughing. How could anyone think he was a pedophile? That was absurd!

"Being a pedophile means that you have desire to have sex with children, or you already have." The policeman said. "Like Michael Jackson."

"I know what it means." Vlad said. "But why-" before he could finish saying, 'But why are you accusing me of that?' he was interrupted by the policeman.

"So you admit that you tried to have sexual intercourse with a minor?" Vlad raised one eyebrow and stared at the policeman. This had to be a joke.

"No, I haven't. Nor have I ever wanted to."

"Are you gay then?" Vlad's eyes widened and he felt like he had just been hit with a large wet noodle. In other words he felt like the officer had just asked, 'have you danced on the moon today?' This officer was either incredibly stupid or incredibly frank.

"I am not gay, I am not a pedophile, and I demand to know why you seem to think that I committed any crime at all!" The man shrugged and pulled something out of his pocket.

The officer held up a newspaper and showed it to Vlad. Across the top it said, "IS MASTERS THAT DESPERATE?" Underneath that was a picture of Vlad sitting at the restaurant he had been to with Abby Klik, at the moment when she was tucking the tablecloth down the front of his suit. The article read as follows:

_Mr. Vladimir Masters was reported to be seen recently with a woman of a much younger age than he was. As shown by the picture taken by an eye witness, he can be seen taking this teenager on a date to an expensive restaurant. Mr. Masters has no family relations, and no close friends, so the girl is not in his family. "He came in looking very pleased with himself." a waiter commented. "In fact, he bragged that she was a prostitute and that she was much cheaper than some of the others he had hired." This comment shocked our reporters. Other witnesses to the scene claim that Masters' was very defensive and even ran out of the restaurant after the poor girl began to question his intentions. "I just asked him if he was going to take me home after our date, and he spilled food all over me and ran!" said poor Abby Klik, the girl whom Masters' had been on a date with. Clearly there is still much more to this than we first believed, and it requires more research. The age difference between the two is jaw-dropping. We asked the girl, who said she was eighteen, and although Masters' age is undetermined, he is probably in his late sixties._

"I am not!" Vlad said, reading the last sentence. He read the name of the newspaper, and then started laughing. It was the National Enquirer. He looked at the officer, who was watching him closely. "You're joking right? This is a tabloid article, and not a very good one. What next? Are you going to arrest Big-Foot for not being a registered citizen?"

The other man's face turned red and he ripped the paper out of Vlad's hands, muttering something that sounded like "Big-Foot already is registered" Then he cleared his throat again. "Our department would not base such a serious claim on just one piece of evidence." He said. "In fact, I wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for a complaint we received from a young teenager."

Vlad felt the color drain from his face. Paulina was serious when she said he would be sorry for kicking her out of his house. Unfortunately the officer took it as a sign that Vlad was guilty, and said, "Ah ha! The truth is free at last! Mr. Masters, I need you to come with me." He handcuffed Vlad and walked him over to a parked police car.

"I'm not guilty." Vlad said, keeping his voice calm. How dare this man arrest him? He was Vlad Masters!

"Sir, this is the first arrest I've ever made. Please don't make it hard for me okay?" Vlad allowed himself to be shoved into the car, and waited as the officer climbed into the driver's seat.

When they arrived at the police station Vlad slowly phased his hands out of the cuffs. Just as the officer was about to get out of the car, Vlad turned intangible and overshadowed the policeman. "I hope this guy is new to the force, or else they might wonder why his voice is different."

He climbed out of the car and walked towards the station. Vlad had been thinking about his plan the moment the officer had handcuffed him. He easily could have knocked him out, but then there would be more policemen at his door wanting to arrest him. So he would act like he was innocent until he got to the police station, and then overshadow the officer.

Unfortunately that was all that he had thought up so far.

Vlad entered the station and looked around. Someone grabbed his shoulder and said, "There you are Rick! The chief wants to see you about the Masters' case. He has that crazy chick in his office, and she's demanding to see that poor guy." The other man smiled. "Old Vladdie must have been desperate to even let that girl in his house."

Vlad said nothing and started walking away in the direction the man pointed towards, hoping that it was the chief's office. The stranger stopped him again and said, "Hey, where is Mr. Masters anyway?"

"I-er-um…" Vlad's stutters were answered by the man's sympathetic look.

"You couldn't get him huh? Don't worry about it, the chief knows how slippery he can be. Sometimes I think he can turn invisible or something." He laughed and left Vlad alone again.

Even if he hadn't been given directions Vlad could have easily found the chief's office with his eyes closed. "If you don't bring him here now I will have my papa sue your station for everything it's worth!" He heard someone scream. "I told him I would have my venganza, and I will!"

Vlad forced himself to enter the office, wondering if the chief knew that venganza meant revenge.

"Rick!" the man who Vlad assumed was the police chief said. "Thank God you're back!" Paulina glared at the chief, and he said, "Um, I mean, it's about time. Where's Masters? Please tell me you have him with you right?"

"Mr. Masters is innocent… sir." Vlad said. "He couldn't have committed the crime, because…" Vlad's mind went blank. There really was no plausible excuse.

"He's guilty!" Paulina said. "He made me fly all of the way here from Amity Park and then acted like he didn't even know me!" The police chief's eyes widened and he stared at Paulina.

"That's not the story you told us earlier Miss Sanchez. You said that Masters kidnapped you and tried to rape you but you escaped at the last minute. You also told us that you wanted to sue him for the trauma."

"I what!?" Vlad demanded, receiving confused looks from the two other people in the room. "I mean, I had to go to his castle and interrogate him for nothing?"

The chief nodded. "Paulina, I'm afraid we're going to have to call your parents. Until then, you may wait outside my office." She was dragged away, looking more surprised than Vlad would have imagined she could look.

"How dare you do this to me! My papa will make sure you all get fired when he hears how you've been treating me. I will not let you-" The door closed and Vlad turned to leave. Too bad the chief had one more question to ask.

"By the way, what was the reason Masters couldn't be guilty?"

Vlad turned around and began to speak. "He, um, he's…" he blurted the first thing that came to mind. "He's engaged!" Vlad wanted to slap a hand over his mouth, but he had to continue. "And his fiancée was with him the whole time."

"Engaged?" the chief asked. "Really? You actually saw his wife to be?" Vlad could do nothing but nod. "Well I never would have guessed. I'll have to have someone check in on him later to make sure he didn't just pay someone to stage as his wife."

Vlad left the office feeling dazed. He had escaped being arrested, but now he had to find someone to pretend to be his future wife if the police happened to show up. He phased out of Rick, leaving him to collapse on the ground, and flew away to his castle.

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"I have got to change my password." Danny said, glaring at Sam who was laughing helplessly. "Sam, how could you send Vlad's address to Paulina!? Vlad is dangerous, there was no telling what he might have done to her is she got him mad enough."

"And how is that any different than what you are doing?" she said, recovering from her laughing fit long enough to be angry with Danny. "Vlad's not that dense Danny, he's going to find out soon enough that we're the ones behind this. 'Vlad is dangerous'" she said, mimicking him. "We can mess with his life and get him into all sorts of trouble but we can't send a shallow brat to meet him."

Skulker watched silently, not sure whether to be amused or worried. If Plasmius found out that _he _was also in on this, then things would go from funny to horrible in less than a second. The two children had followed Paulina to the police station while Skulker video taped Vlad being interrogated by the policeman.

"Come on Danny, how can you not admit that the look on Paulina's face when they dragged her out of there was hilarious? Besides, it was probably the first time she's had that huge ego of hers deflate a bit."

"No Sam, it was not _hilarious. _From now on, I will be the one setting up the dates."

"Fine Mr. Grouch, but when Plasmius comes to beat you up don't forget to tell him that I warned you." He said nothing and turned around to look at one of the Specter Speeder's monitors that was playing Vlad being arrested.

_**Okay, I have to apologize for my lack of knowledge regarding police, so just pretend that they actually work like that. :-) **_


	8. Mint Percomis

_**Wow. You guys are getting lucky. This chapter has over three thousand words! Don't expect this trend to continue okay? For all I know the next chapter might only have eight words. (Although I'm positive it will end up having a lot more.)**_

**_This chapter is dedicated to MissMune, who sent me the character Mint Percomis._**

Vlad paced back and forth, wondering what would happen to him if the police showed up at his door asking to see his 'fiancée'. "Why couldn't I have thought up a better plan!" he said out loud. "I had time, and there are many other ways to elude the police. Besides, they wouldn't dare arrest me if they knew how much I'd be willing to pay."

He paused, and then resumed his pacing. "I could bribe the officer, but I have no guarantee that he would keep his mouth shut. Maybe I could get away with telling the truth about everything, everything that is, except my ghost half." Vlad almost laughed. "But it would just be more material for the tabloid writers to use."

The doorbell echoed through the house and Vlad reluctantly walked over to the door. If it was the police he was in trouble, because there was no one to pose as his wife except for the maid, who had an irritating habit of disappearing whenever he was around. If it was another girl seeking to date him… well he wasn't sure if he'd be better off with the police or not.

"Hello? Anyone home?" said a definitely feminine voice. Vlad decided he would take his chances and opened the door.

Standing in front of him was a woman about half Vlad's age, maybe twenty five, who looked at him shyly. Her hair was a very light red, almost pink, and she had it in two long pigtails, which, to Vlad's disappointment, made her look even younger than she was. How was he going to prove to the cops that he wasn't a pedophile if he was supposedly getting married to someone so young?

Even though it was summer she was wearing a pair of bright red boots that went up to about the middle of her calf. Vlad wondered why he was looking at her legs at all, and focused instead on her face. She had green eyes, not the bright neon green that belonged to a ghost, but a dull more plant like green, and for a moment she had been staring at him.

She looked away when Vlad's eyes met hers. "Um… hi, I'm Mint Percomis." She held out her hand awkwardly and Vlad shook it. "Are you Vlad Masters?"

"Yes I am. It's very nice to meet you Mint." Vlad said, trying to sound as polite as he could. Mint Masters. Vlad tried not to grimace at the thought. She didn't seem to be as bad as the other women he had met, but first impressions were often deceiving. If the police came at least he would have someone to play the part of his future wife. If she was willing…

"Would you like something to drink?" he asked. "We could go out for a late lunch if you want." Vlad was surprised that this girl hadn't done something strange yet. All of the others had either appeared strange from the start, or they had very bad qualities that Vlad hated. Mint seemed normal.

"I wouldn't mind making some tea." She said, looking around. "Would you like some?" Vlad smiled and nodded again, even though tea wasn't something he enjoyed very much after Maddie had poured it all over his head.

Vlad led her to the kitchen, wondering if he would ever have a normal date. Of course, he didn't exactly remember what a normal date was like, but having a stranger come into your house and make tea for you wasn't exactly normal.

She smiled brightly as she looked around the kitchen. "This is amazing!" she said happily. Vlad looked around, realizing that his kitchen was quite large compared to most. He didn't spend a lot of time in here, so he never really noticed.

Suddenly Mint's smile looked just a bit malicious.

"Well we can't let you discover my secret recipe, now can we!" she said, and Vlad was quickly shoved out the door.

He looked at the closed door and said, "Great, just when I thought that she might actually be normal." Vlad waited for her to come out, and when she did he noticed that her face seemed to switch from evil to sweet in a second. That and she only had one cup of tea with her. "Thank you." He said, excepting the tea cup from her.

Just as he was about to take a sip she snatched it out of his hands. "What-" she cut him off with a wave of her hand and sniffed the tea.

"Strychnos, aconites, digitalis, jimsonweed…" Mint threw the teacup on the floor, making Vlad flinch in alarm. "She was going to poison you until you gave her what she wanted." She looked at Vlad as if realizing he was there. "Oh… um… sorry about the tea. It was… spoiled."

"That's fine Mint, I'm sure the maid will find a way to clean the mess up." An uncomfortable silence followed, until Mint spoke again. She seemed very eager to keep the conversation away from herself.

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why did you say on the internet that you were a millionaire? Wouldn't you want people to like you for who you are instead of your money?"

"What?" Vlad said, his eyes widening. "I've never talked to anyone on the internet before"

"But you were on that website, and you sent me an email asking me to come here." She didn't sound confused. In fact, to Vlad she sounded almost excited.

"I did no such thing!" he said. "I'm usually too busy to be on the internet at all." Curiosity filled him, and he asked, "What website was it?"

Mint blushed and said, "Its Cupid Stupid .com. It's a website where people post profiles so that other people can see if they want to… date them or not. I was looking for something when _she- _I mean, I spotted your profile. It was really short, and all that it said was that you liked the packers, you were rich… oh, and you said food names instead of swearing."

Vlad felt anger flood through him at Mint's words. "So anyone can get a hold of this information?" His voice was almost shaking with rage, and Mint looked a little scared. She nodded, confirming Vlad's suspicions and making him even angrier. "What a perfect way to get revenge on someone." he muttered under his breath.

"Mint, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Vlad said, trying his best to sound polite when what he really wanted to do was explode. "I have to… sort this mess out before it gets any worse." She smiled and stood up.

"I understand." She said. Vlad almost sighed in relief. If this had been anyone else then he might have had to deal with an insane lady who refused to leave on top of everything else. His relief vanished when he escorted Mint to the door and heard a loud knock.

"Police." Someone outside said, sounding bored. Vlad turned to Mint, who looked back curiously.

"I know this is going to sound sudden, but I'm in trouble with the police. They think I'm… well, I'll explain later, but I really need your help. I'm supposed to be engaged, but I'm not, and they will arrest me if I don't have a fiancée right now." He felt his face turning red with embarrassment. "Will you pretend to be my wife for now? I can pay you as much money as you want."

Mint looked shocked, and the person outside knocked again. She looked at the door, and then back at Vlad. "You're innocent right?" He nodded. A slow smile came across her face. "I'll do it for free then. I've always wanted to be an actress."

Vlad couldn't believe his good luck, and he opened the door. The police chief himself stood in the doorway. "It certainly took you long enough to answer the door." He said. Vlad was slightly calmer now, and thought up an excuse.

"I have a very large castle, officer." He said. "Sometimes it takes twenty minutes to get to the door. Please come in." He stepped aside and closed the door after the chief, who looked around the entranceway and whistled.

"So the rumors about you being a Packers freak are true then." Vlad frowned but said nothing. He was in enough trouble with the police already. "I owe Jeff ten bucks. You must be richer than I thought if you can afford to spend so much money on this junk." Vlad opened his mouth to say something, but was cut off. "Rick- the officer who came yesterday- told me that you have a fiancée. I'd love to meet her."

"Right." Vlad said, realizing at that moment that Mint was nowhere to be found. "Um… Mint?" he called, noticing that the chief looked like he was positive that no one was there.

"Mr. Masters, if you just come quietly now I won't charge you for resisting arrest. You and I both know that you aren't engaged at all." Vlad was ready to panic and almost confessed when Mint walked up. Her long hair was down, which made her seem a little bit older.

Vlad wanted to hit her and hug her at the same time. "This is Mint Percomis, soon to be Mint Masters." It sounded just as strange coming out of his mouth as it did in his head. She turned and glared at him, causing Vlad to blink in surprise.

"I'm not Mint." She said. The chief looked like he was going to laugh. Vlad decided that his luck had run out at last. "I'm Mentha." She turned to stare at the officer, and an evil smile filled her face. "You can call me Mrs. Masters though."

This time the chief really did laugh. "You're not a very good actor Masters, forgetting your fiancée's name. How much is he paying you Miss?"

Mentha laughed wickedly. "Nothing yet officer, but as soon as we get married I will have all the money I need. We're very deeply in love, and you interrupted us right as he was about to prove exactly how much. I assume he told you that he was slow to answer the door because this house is so big? The truth is much more risqué."

She turned to Vlad and said, "That new outfit you bought for me is perfect Vladdie. I know you think it's too revealing, but as long as it covers a tenth of my body it's legal in most of the states. You simply must come up and let me show you."

Vlad's eyes were so wide they looked like they were going to fall out. The chief looked almost exactly the same as Vlad did. "Yeah…" the officer said, sounding very embarrassed, "I'll just let you two get back to that." He left at almost a run. Vlad stared at Mentha.

"Well, Mint-"

"Mentha" she corrected.

"Mentha, thanks for pretending to be my fiancée to get rid of the police. You didn't have to be quite so… convincing though." She only smiled, sending shivers down Vlad's spine. Not the good kind either.

"It's true though." She said. "We're going to get married, and then I will have full access to your fortune. Even if you don't like me at first, I assure you that I can be very persuasive."

"Okay, look at the time; I really have to take care of something, so if you'd just leave and let me go about my business…"

"Sorry Vlad, but I'm going to get your fortune. Be careful how you treat me now, because when we are married you never know what might accidentally happen to you. Don't worry about Mint bothering you too much though. I'm working on a way to get rid of my nasty split personality problem."

At that moment her face went blank, and then she quickly pulled her hair up into two pigtails again. Concern filled her eyes, and she looked sideways at Vlad. "You've met Mentha."

Vlad felt very angry. Daniel had been behind this the whole time, and it seemed like he was determined to pair Vlad up with the most insane women he could find. Mint thought Vlad was angry with her, and began to cry. Vlad groaned and said, "Don't cry. I'm not mad at you."

"Mentha forced me to come here so that she could get your fortune." She said between sobs. "As soon as you marry her she'll kill you."

"I'm not going to marry her!" Vlad said. "I know she's evil, and all she's after is my money. Besides," he added, "I'm in love with someone else." Vlad decided that if Daniel was listening, he might get the message that his plan to stop Vlad from loving Maddie was not working.

"You don't understand." She said softly. "We've been married ten times already, and she's killed off every single husband, either through poison or by bow and arrow." Mint shrugged. "Sometimes poison arrows. She'll find a way to get you to marry her, either through blackmail or by poisoning you and giving you the antidote only after the vows have been said."

"Can't you leave? You're in control now, so just leave." She shook her head sadly.

"Mentha is too strong. She'll take control as soon as I try to step out the door." Vlad sighed. Everything was piling up, and he really wasn't sure how much of this he could take.

Mint went blank again, and in a moment she had pulled the hair bands out of her hair. "I really have to teach her not to interrupt me while I'm talking to our future husbands." Mentha said with a grin. "So Vlad, I'm assuming you won't just marry me quietly now? Oh well, it was fun to try honesty for a moment." She pulled something out of her purse, and Vlad's eyes widened when he realized that it was a collapsible bow. "But now it's time for the really fun part."

"Can't we solve this some other way?" Vlad said, backing up as she assembled the bow. "I'm really not in the mood for this."

She was still smiling. "I do like you Vlad. You act like you're immortal, like nothing can hurt you. But unfortunately I can't let you off easy. You're practice for when I take down Bill Gates." She strung the bow and began pulling out arrows too. Vlad briefly wondered how deep her purse was.

Vlad found himself backed up against a wall. Mentha placed the arrow onto the bow and pulled the string back. "So Darling, where would you like to go on our honeymoon? Perhaps some remote jungle in Africa, where you meet your demise through a poison known only to Africans? Or maybe we could attend an archery tournament where you end up being mistaken for the target?"

"I'm not going to marry you." Vlad said. "And you can't kill me now, because then you wouldn't get any of my money." She released the arrow with a twang and it landed half an inch away from the side of Vlad's head.

"Till death do we part Vladdie." Mentha said. "You don't have to be in perfect health to marry me; you just have to have a pulse. There are hundreds of ministers who will gladly listen to us exchange vows, even if I have to say yours for you."

"You should be in an asylum." Vlad said, having absolutely no clue what to do. Mentha laughed.

"Many have tried to arrest Dr. Mint and Miss Mentha, but no one has come close. I always am in control when someone comes around, and I can prove to them that I am not insane. Investigators who mint manages to get through to have had the nasty habit of disappearing."

Vlad instantly thought of a plan, but wasn't sure he was willing to go through with it. If no one believed Mentha to be crazy, maybe he could make her show her true colors. He would have to change into his ghost form though, and she was staring right at him.

"So Vlad, how would you like me to kill you once we're married? There are many other ways besides arrows and poison you know, and I've been dying to try impaling." She smiled at her own joke, and Vlad decided that Vlad's ghost half on top of her other craziness wouldn't be too noticeable.

He turned into his ghost half and watched as Mentha's eyes widened. "Y-y-you're a g-g-"

Vlad sighed and said, "Boo." She ran out screaming. That's what Vlad disliked about Amity Park. Ghosts were common there, and seeing one appear would cause people to scream, but they wouldn't worry too much since Daniel was always around to save them.

Then he remembered that Daniel had been watching everything, and rage filled him. He swirled his cape around him and vanished into thin air.

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Danny, Sam, and Skulker were panicking. They hadn't expected someone to come right out and tell Vlad everything. Luckily they had had plenty of time to figure out a plan thanks to Mentha and the police, but most of that was wasted by Sam yelling at Danny.

"I told you that Vlad would find out!" she said. "But no, let's ignore Sam and continue on with our revenge scheme, let's get Vlad really angry, and not even worry about the consequences." Danny opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a light knocking sound on the Specter Speeder's window.

The three of them turned and froze. Vlad Plasmius was floating outside, and to put it very, very, _very, _lightly, he was furious.

_**Yay! The first cliffhanger I ever had in this story!**_


	9. Interlude!

**_READ THIS NOW! please._** :)******_This is not the last chapter of this story! This is simply a filler chapter between one section of dates and another! I need to have some plot structure somewhere! Anyone and Everyone who was disappointed that I didn't use their character should cheer up! I do not pick the characters in any order, but they will be used! I am still accepting new characters all of the time! If you are waiting for this story to end then you'll have to wait a lot longer! Exclamation point!_**

Danny slammed his fist down on a button and a ghost shield surrounded the Specter Speeder. Vlad was pushed back, but he started blasting the shield. He was so angry that the shield could barely withstand the blasts. Danny turned and began typing as fast as he could on the computer.

"What are you doing!" yelled Sam over the blasts.

"If I'm going down," he yelled back, "Then I'm taking Plasmius with me." he clicked on a small button that said 'reply to all email' and typed in Vlad's name and address. Just as he clicked send and alarm went off.

"WARNING, GHOST SHEILD FAILING, PLEASE PREPARE FOR GHOST ATTACK"

Then it was very quiet. Danny changed into his ghost form, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly Skulker fell over with a loud clank causing Danny to jump. Vlad appeared out of thin air holding Skulker's true form. "I'll deal with you later." He said to the small green blob. Then he whipped Skulker like a baseball, sending him through the windshield of the Specter Speeder. The windshield shattered and another alarm went off.

Vlad turned to glare at Danny and Sam. "I've been dying to ask you what you were thinking, Daniel. Surely you didn't believe that you could get away with your plan to pair me up with every insane woman on this planet. I'm much more observant than your father." He didn't move to attack.

"It was a joke." Danny said quietly. Vlad raised an eyebrow.

"Really? And in what way is it funny? The fact that my reputation has been ruined? The fact that I now have been forced through several strange situations with women who were clearly only after my money? Or maybe it was the fact that I was almost forced into marriage?" Vlad had never once stopped glaring at the two of them.

"Sorry." Danny mumbled. Even Sam gave him a look for that.

"Unfortunately I am not in a good mood at the moment, and sorry is not going to cut it." Vlad blasted Danny backwards and flew into him, crushing him up against the wall of the Speeder.

Sam ran up and tried her best to pull Vlad away from Danny, but Vlad shoved her away with one hand and then shot some ectoplasmic bonds at her. She fell to the floor and couldn't move.

"Jeeze fruitloop can't you take a joke?" Danny said, angry that Sam had been blasted. He tried to break free but Vlad had him pinned so tight he could barely move. "We were just trying to get your mind off of my mom, and you have to admit it worked." Vlad's hands lit up with ectoblasts, and since they were pressed tightly against Danny's arms Danny suddenly wanted to scream out in pain.

"Maddie can not be replaced. Would you like me to send you insane women to be your mother?"

"No, but I thought your obsession with her was getting a little out of hand. I mean, come on! _'Roses are red; my heart is blue, because I'm spending Valentines Day without you.' _That's just sad." Danny gritted his teeth as the pain in his arms skyrocketed.

"You read those!?" Vlad said, his face turning purple with embarrassment. "Those were for Maddie's eyes only."

"Yeah well if she had tried to read those she would have died of laughter. They were the worst things I had ever forced myself to look at. I destroyed all four of them before she even had a chance to see the envelope." Vlad loosened his grip and Danny continued. "See? I was just trying to help. You couldn't date my mom if she was dead."

"Fine." Vlad said quietly. "If you insist that all of these women coming to my doorstep are good for me I will allow you to live." Danny waited for the catch. "But, until they stop coming then I'm afraid that you and your friend will be my prisoners." Vlad bound Danny in ectobonds and walked over to the controls of the Specter Speeder. "Maddie may not want to live with me now, but we'll see how she feels when you don't come back."

Danny struggled uselessly. "How are you going to keep us prisoner? If you've forgotten, I'm half ghost, and I'm much stronger than you."

Vlad didn't answer. He looked at the controls of the Specter Speeder in silence. Maddie would never be his, and if he kidnapped Daniel then she would simply hate him. Maybe he should just give up on her. Not all of the women in the world could be as insane as the several he had encountered, could they? Maybe he should move on…

"Hey! Fruitloop! Are you deaf?" Vlad turned around and glared fiercely at Daniel, temporarily forgetting his moment of weakness.

"No, Daniel, I can hear your annoying voice quite clearly." He snapped. "Half ghost or not, I am more experienced than you and if _you've_ forgotten that I have several devices for canceling out your powers then perhaps you should see someone about your memory problem." Vlad had the perfect invention in mind.

Vlad turned back to the controls and flew the Speeder down behind his mansion. He lifted Sam and Danny both easily by the back of their shirts and flew them down to his secret lab. Then he took four circles of metal and put them onto Danny and Sam's wrists. They shrunk instantly until they fit just tight enough to be impossible to get off.

"Do you have these in black?" Sam said sarcastically.

"No." Vlad said. "I was hoping to build off these prototypes and make a more permanent device, but since you came early I'll have to use these. They will not only cancel out your ghost powers, but they will also keep you inside of this house. If you try to leave a force field will come up, blocking your escape."

"Let me guess," Sam said, "You're the only one who can remove them?" Vlad looked surprised and nodded. "I've been through this before."

Danny experimented by trying to charge up a small ectoblast. Nothing happened. So instead he resorted to irritating Vlad. "You're going soft, Plasmius." He said. "So we can't leave, it's not like we're in a dungeon being tortured or anything."

Vlad's eyes flashed. "Not yet anyway. You two will be forced to follow my orders or suffer the consequences. I promise you that you will probably want to take the easy route and follow my orders."

"Never." Danny said, glaring at Vlad. "Sam and I aren't your servants, and nothing you can do will make us work for you."

An evil grin filled Vlad's face. "Very well. I was hoping you would try to resist. It's more fun that way." He changed into his human form and took a remote from his breast pocket. His thumb hovered over the button on the remote. "This is your last chance." Danny just glared at him, making Vlad smile wider. He pressed the button.

Danny instantly felt like he was being overshadowed. Pain raked through his body as he tried to resist, and then he found himself bowing. He glanced at Sam and saw that she was being forced into a curtsy.

"I did warn you." Vlad said, somehow smiling wider than ever. "Your bracelets are made with a little bit of my DNA and Technus' inventing skills. With a press of a button I can instantly overshadow you without actually having to walk into you. Mind control." He pressed another button and Danny fell flat on his face as Vlad released his grip on their will power. "A very new invention of mine that apparently escaped your detection."

Sam straightened out of her curtsy and looked like she was going to kill Vlad. "No one makes me curtsy and lives to brag about it!" She dived forward but Vlad pressed the button again and she stopped. Then she curtsied several times before walking backwards away from Vlad.

"No, no my dear Samantha. You can't win that way. I haven't even told you the best feature yet! I can program instructions into the bracelet telling you what to do, and you are forced to follow them. The maid could use a few assistants, so until I decide otherwise you are to follow her orders." Vlad pressed another button and Sam and Danny were forced to walk away to go find the maid.

He sighed and put the remote back in his pocket. Danny was under his control at last, but now that Vlad was alone he remembered his treacherous thoughts from earlier. Maybe he should just move on, forget Maddie. He picked up a picture from his college days, with him Maddie and Jack all standing together and smiling at the camera. Jack's face had been ripped off, and Vlad stared at Maddie's younger self.

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"There has to be a way to get these off!" Danny said, slamming his wrist into the wall. He and Sam were still being forced to walk to wherever the maid was, and he was trying everything to break the mind control bracelet. Nothing worked.

A surprised gasp came from somewhere farther down the hallway and Danny and Sam saw the maid standing there looking shocked. She wasn't ugly; in fact she was very pretty. She was about Vlad's age, which surprised Danny. He always thought maids were either really young or really old. "What can I do for you two?" she said.

"We've come to help you with your work." Danny heard himself say. "Mr. Masters hired us." Danny ground his teeth together. He hadn't called Vlad Mr. Masters since the reunion, and he didn't intend to call him that now.

She frowned. "Who does he think he is? Forcing teenagers to work in this creepy old place. The rich jerk thinks he owns everyone's lives." The maid sighed and said, "I'm Molly Virga. You two can just call me Molly though. Only the evil boss calls me Ms. Virga. So what exactly is it you're supposed to be doing?"

This time Sam was forced to answer. "We'll help you with all of your work."

Molly started laughing. "Work? In this house? It's always clean anyway since the rich cheese head never bothers to use any of the rooms besides his bedroom and laboratory. There's a chef who comes in and cooks breakfast lunch and dinner, and this place is so big it would take a year for dust to settle on anything. Here's an order for you: go have fun and explore this place, just make sure Mr. Masters doesn't see you."

Danny and Sam stared at her. She shrugged. "Big house, not a lot of work, and a good payroll. As long as the boss doesn't realize that I don't do anything then I'm fine. What are you're names?"

"I'm Danny Fenton and this is Sam Manson." Danny said. For some reason Molly's eyes widened.

"Danny Fenton?"

"Yeah…" Danny said, confused at why the maid seemed so shocked.

"So your parents are the ghost hunters that were at the reunion! Have you seen the blue faced ghost? You know, he has vampire teeth?" Danny nodded, still confused.

Then Molly seemed to think of something and her eyes faded like she was dreaming. "Just watch out for the blue faced ghost. He's around a lot, and even though he's cute I'm sure he's dangerous. I just said that cute part out loud, didn't I." Danny and Sam nodded and Molly blushed embarrassedly. "He is though, especially in sweatpants."

She left the two friends alone. They looked at each other in disbelief. "She's very… um, open." Sam said.

Then Danny burst out laughing. "Molly's in love with Vlad Plasmius, but hates Vlad Masters!"

Sam rolled her eyes. "She sounds a lot like a certain ghost hunter I know." Danny said nothing but stopped laughing. "Molly's given us permission to go anywhere in the mansion as long as Vlad doesn't see us. We should find a phone and call home."

"Sam, that's exactly what Vlad wants us to do! If we call our parents then they'll come here looking for us, and Vlad can capture them too."

"Well at least we won't be his prisoners for very long if he keeps his word and lets us go now that you aren't sending any more women after him." Danny's face suddenly went pale, and he tried to hide it the best he could. Sam noticed anyway. "What?"

"I-uh-um… Vlad won't keep his word, Sam. You know that." Sam raised one eyebrow and just stared at Danny, knowing that he was hiding the truth. "Okay! I was lying. Right before Vlad broke the ghost shield I answered all of the emails at once. He's going to have every single woman who even clicked on his profile come right up to his door."

_**Ding-Dong**_

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_**Ding-Dong**_

Vlad looked up and frowned angrily. Danny's laptop was still in the Specter Speeder, so it couldn't be another woman, could it? Vlad began walking towards the stairs. Maybe it was a visitor. Yeah, right, a visitor to one of the most secluded homes in Wisconsin. He sighed and decided that Danny must have contacted one last woman before Vlad had captured him.

"At least this will be the last one. Now that Daniel isn't meddling anymore I should be free from these insane people." Vlad sighed and resolved to stop talking to himself, even though it was a convenient way to sound crazy. Of course this was the last date, and he would be home free after this. How wrong he was.


	10. Gwendoline Smatter

**_Yay fast updates! This chapter is dedicated to BJA Fan, for sending me the character Gwendoline Smatter. Enjoy!_**

Vlad opened the door expecting a girl half his age. To his surprise he ended up being drowned in a hug from an eighty year old woman. He could barely breath, and when she finally let go of him he stood up and gasped for air. "Oh Vladdie, I was hoping you would respond to my email!"

He sighed and decided he was definitely _not_ going to go on a date with the old lady. She was fat, with very, very large…. you know what's. "About that. I didn't really set up that profile; it was some teenagers who were playing a prank-"

"Ugh! Teenagers! Youth is wasted on the young is what I always say. Don't you agree? They just don't care about anything at all, and they certainly don't give us the proper respect we deserve. Can you believe the clothes they wear? Pants made with enough material to make a circus tent and shirts that barely cover enough skin to be legal. And their parents! How dare they let their children even walk out of the house looking like that! Don't even get me started on Goths. Black is a color that should be used only at funerals, and makeup is made to make girls look prettier, not like raccoons. What kind of music is it they listen to again? Crap? You know that music where the guy talks and cusses at you throughout the whole song? As responsible senior citizens it is our duty to take care of the future generations, but how can we when they are so rebellious? Don't you agree?"

"-On me." Vlad finished, his head spinning with all of the older woman's complaints. "Would you mind telling me your name?"

She smiled, revealing very white dentures. "Gwendoline Smatter, age 79, occupation is being retired. Don't worry about the age difference between us dearie, I love older men." Then Gwendoline pulled Vlad into her ample chest again and said, "It will be nice to finally have someone besides the nurses to talk too."

Vlad struggled out of her embrace and took a deep breath. "Gwendoline, I really don't think this is going to work… Wait, did you say older men?"

"Of course! I don't care if you're ninety, at least you don't have too many wrinkles in your face." Vlad put a hand to his face, making sure that he didn't actually have wrinkles.

"I am not old!" Vlad said. "I am only forty, and I certainly do not have wrinkles." She pinched his cheek and smiled again.

"There's no escaping father time Vladdie. I remember when I was a young and beautiful girl, but that was long ago. Of course in my day we actually wore proper clothes that covered our bodies, and we listened to good old jazz. I was too young to be a flapper mind you, but I could have danced to that music forever. And when the depression hit my father still stayed in business. 'Gwen,' he told me, 'never invest in the stock market,' and I haven't. All of these young business men think that their so safe throwing their money away on pieces of paper, but it just goes to show you that young people are the burden of society."

"Yes, but what does this have to do with me being old?" She crushed him into a hug again.

"I know how it feels darling. For awhile I denied being a senior too, until the people at the nursing home made me look in the mirror. They always undercook the food there you know-"

Vlad cut her off. "Please! Just listen to me for a moment! I. Am. Not. Old. I am not your type, and you really should be leaving. Now if you wouldn't mind, PLEASE GO!" She just gave him a blank look.

"I'm sorry honey, but I didn't hear a word you said. My hearing aid has been on the fritz lately and sometimes it just turns everything into static. Now as I was saying, the nursing home never cooks their vegetables correctly." Vlad sighed as she continued to ramble on about vegetables and how to cook them.

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Danny and Sam were watching from a distance, keeping as quiet as they could. Unfortunately it wasn't as easy as it sounded. When Gwendoline was complaining about Goths Danny had to hold Sam down to stop her from running over and yelling at her. It didn't help that Sam was already very angry with Danny in the first place.

"What's the creep up to now?" a voice said right behind them. They both jumped and turned around. Molly was standing there watching Vlad and Gwendoline. "Where are all of these ladies coming from? They really get on Vlad's nerves."

Vlad glanced in their direction and they all ducked. "He's signed up to a dating service." Danny explained. "All of the women are people who are interested in his money." He didn't bother explaining that he had sent all of the women to Vlad in the first place.

"So the forty year old virgin is finally trying to find a girl? Good. I'm sick of listening to him talk out loud to himself about some poor woman named Maddie."

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"-and they never treat you right up at the old folks home. They always act like you're senile. And then the young people come to visit and they all act like we're babies. 'Do you need your diaper changed? Do you want me to take your dentures out for you? Do you want some more puréed green beans?' They never stop! And they just talk and talk and talk; they never realize that maybe we don't want to listen to them complain about how the old people are too much of a burden on society. Why don't they all just go jump… Hey! Are you awake pumpkin?"

Vlad's eyes snapped open. "I'm not old!" he yelled. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" Vlad said, happy to get away from Gwendoline for a moment. He opened the door and saw two men with very long needles. Vlad's face turned pale.

"We've traced a Ms. Gwendoline Smatter to this mansion, sir. She escaped form the Last Resort Nursing Home this morning and we discovered that she was following an email to this address. We request that you cooperate with us so that we can deal with the situation and leave you in peace. If you refuse to turn Ms. Smatter over to us we will be forced to detain you." Vlad was going to comment that they took their jobs too seriously, but glanced at the needles again and thought better of it.

"She should be in here." He said, stepping aside to let the two men enter.

Gwendoline saw them and yelled, "You'll never take me alive coppers!" before running away. The two men ran after her and Vlad stayed where he was. They were gone for several minutes, and there were a few very loud crashes. Finally the two men came back carrying Gwendoline between them. She wasn't unconscious, but she did seem to look a little delirious.

"Goodbye Vladdie! I hope you get over your denial about being ninety! Never give up, don't let them take you like they took me!" Vlad closed the door and leaned against it, glad that she was gone. Now he would be able to live his life and get back to making evil plans. Then he remembered that Daniel was still in the mansion somewhere.

"I did tell him that I would let him go when the women stopped coming." Vlad muttered out loud. He didn't know whether he should let Daniel go or not. Daniel had pulled off a very evil plan, and Vlad was a little bit proud that he had some influence on the boy.

He decided that maybe he should consider it. In fact he almost decided to let Daniel and his friend go. If Daniel was becoming evil enough to enjoy taking revenge on someone, then there was hope for him yet. Vlad began to walk away from the door with these thoughts in his head until the hollow sound of a hand on wood reached his ears.

Someone was knocking on his door. Vlad's eyes burned red and he began to wonder if he should beat Daniel up by hand or use a weapon.


	11. Penelope Spectra

_**Mostly a filler chapter. There is a date, but it's only for about half of the chapter.**_

**_This chapter is dedicated to HiddenAuthor_**

He opened the door and froze. Standing there was a woman in a red suit with fiery orange hair. She was very thin, and she would have been pretty is she didn't have such an evil look in her bright green eyes. Vlad's ghost sense went off but he didn't even notice.

"I'm Penelope Spectra." She said, smiling almost too widely. "And I'm here to make your life go from lonely and depressing to fun and amazing!" Spectra was already using her powers to figure out what would cause Vlad the most misery. "Well, are you going to stand there and wait for some idiot to steal me away, or are you going to invite me in?"

Vlad sighed and moved over so she could enter. Her words were surprisingly close to what had happened to Maddie. He hadn't moved quickly enough so Jack stole her away from him. Vlad instantly went from being furious to being depressed.

Spectra smiled wider, absorbing Vlad's misery. She walked past him into the entranceway. "Someone's got an obsession problem." She said just loud enough for Vlad to hear. "You do realize that Green Bay will never let you buy the Packers, don't you?"

"Yes." Vlad said, looking miserable. "I know." He hid his misery the best he could and continued. "Penelope, I realize that you received an email asking you to come here, but I didn't send it. Two teenagers were pulling a prank on me. I'm sorry that you had to come all of the way here, but I have a lot of work to do and would like to get back to it. Could we talk some other time? I don't know, like tomorrow, or in a few months… or years…"

"How could a grown man not realize that some kids were playing a prank on him? How dumb are you?" She didn't move towards the door at all.

"I was kind of busy…" Vlad said.

Molly walked up quietly, glanced at Spectra, and said, "The cook says that he's made more than enough food for two, if your company wants to stay for dinner."

Spectra sensed Vlad's despair increase and said, "Wonderful! Now I'll get a chance to see how the richer half lives! Come on Vladdie, let's turn that frown upside down!" she grabbed Vlad's arm and began to pull him towards the exit.

"…Thank you, Ms. Virga." Vlad said as he was yanked away. He didn't really feel like thanking Molly at all. Now he would have to deal with Spectra through dinner too.

"You're welcome creep." She muttered.

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Danny and Sam were hiding behind a Packers display case listening to everything. Danny had asked Molly to try and keep the date going for as long as she could and because she hated Vlad Masters she agreed. Danny decided that as long as he was going to be stuck at Vlad's mansion he might as well have some fun.

Molly walked over to where they were hiding and said, "The coast is clear. I think that Spectra woman is trying to make the cheesehead cry. About time someone did."

Sam wondered what Molly would do if she knew that the 'cheesehead' was also the ghost she loved. "Why do you hate Vlad so much?" she asked.

"He's spoiled, rich, evil, vain, a Packers fanatic; he won't stop calling me Ms. Virga, and he's a sleazy lying person. And I hate his ponytail. Anything else you'd like to know?"

"Yes." Sam said. "Why do you like the ghost that haunts this place?"

Molly took her time answering. "That's harder to explain. He's mysterious, handsome, shy, and looks absolutely nothing like Masters." She paused and then gave Sam a questioning look. "Why? If you're trying to pair me up with Vlad Masters then forget it. The thought of even liking him disgusts me." Molly turned around and walked to where Danny was already hiding. "Let's see if he's been reduced to a bucket of tears yet."

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The dining room was huge, and Vlad tried to sit as far away from Spectra as possible. Unfortunately the dining table was round, so it was rather hard. Usually the chef brought out the food, but tonight Molly did. She wasn't going to pass up a chance to watch Vlad be tortured.

"Ms. Virga?" Vlad said, confused, "Why are you serving the food tonight? I've seen more of you today than I have in a while."

"Lucky you." Molly said, not even bothering to lower her voice. Sam had reminded her of the reasons why she hated Vlad Masters, and Molly was determined to prove that those reasons were true. "Enjoy the food; it's just like everything around here. Half-baked." She grinned at the shocked look on Vlad's face and left.

Spectra glared at Molly's back as she left. If anyone was going to cause Vlad misery it would be her, not some stuck up maid. "I'm surprised that you let someone treat you like that Vlad." She said. "You clearly don't pay attention to anything other than your own desires."

"That's not true." Vlad said. "The maid must be having a bad day."

"Sure." Spectra said. "You know, I've seen men who go prematurely bald, but never one who has white hair and is only forty. Has it ever occurred to you that it makes you look much older than you are?"

"I know. My hair's been white for twenty years. It's because of an accident I had when I was in college."

Spectra frowned. She had followed the wrong line of insults. Vlad's misery was coming out more slowly, and it was nothing like what she had been getting earlier. "Well maybe that's why you aren't married. Why would someone date a guy who looks three times their age? Unless of course they were doing it for your money." Her smile returned. She had hit the jackpot.

"Maybe." Vlad said, feeling more depressed than ever. Why wouldn't this Spectra woman just leave? Is that why Maddie didn't like him? Because of his hair color?

"But of course, money can't buy everything, now can it. Although since you're so rich you probably don't know that. You probably still have hopes that maybe the girl of your dreams will marry you and you'll live happily ever after. Aren't you getting a little old for that? A forty year old bachelor is pretty old."

Vlad stared at his food and then said, "So why are you here? Are you only interested in my money too?"

Spectra narrowed her eyes. "No. I'm here because my idiot assistant Bertrand still hasn't asked me to go steady with him yet. I've been working with him my whole life and he still doesn't realize that I love him!" There was an uncomfortable silence and Vlad was staring at her. "Oh. I said that out loud." She shrugged. "Well, I guess that means that you know I'm just here to make him jealous. Would you mind letting me finish my dinner before you send me on way?"

"As a matter of fact I would mi-"

Spectra cut him off. "Great!" She smirked. This was too easy. She didn't really like Bertrand at all, but Vlad didn't need to know that. "Now that you know that no woman would ever love you unless she was insane or bribed, we can move on to another topic."

"Why did you come here?" he said, miserably.

She shrugged. "I'm a ghost who feeds off of the sorrow of humans, and what's more depressing than dating someone who picks at all your faults?" Vlad's eyes widened in surprise. "Wait, you didn't know I was a ghost? Your ghost sense should have gone off."

Vlad's ghost sense finally went off again, as if to say 'I told you so.'

Vlad grit his teeth angrily. Daniel had set this all up. He was being forced to deal with this woman all because Daniel wanted to play a prank on him. He had had enough. Vlad's eyes turned blood red as he glared angrily at Spectra. "Get out now." he said.

She gasped in surprise and lost her composure for a moment. "What? You're actually angry? You're supposed to be depressed!" Spectra stood up and calmed down a little bit. "It doesn't matter. You've given me enough misery to stay young for at least a week. So what if you're going to be lonely and single forever, it's not like I didn't try-"

"Get out." Vlad said dangerously. Spectra almost flew out the door.

He turned and looked around the dining room. "Daniel, Samantha, I know that you're here, so come out." Vlad took the remote from his pocket and pressed a button. There was a loud thump as Danny, Sam, and Molly all fell out of their hiding place behind a door.

"What is wrong with you guys?" Molly whispered, glaring at Sam and Danny. "If he says to come out of your hiding place then that means that he doesn't know where you are. You didn't have to come out!" Vlad of course heard none of this, and stared at Molly in surprise.

"Ms. Virga? What are you doing here?" She said nothing and Vlad continued. "It doesn't matter. Please go clean the kitchen or something. I need to teach these children a lesson." Vlad's voice was low and dangerous. Molly stood up and directed her glare at Vlad.

"Leave them alone. They were just curious about why you had so many women in your house, and I can't blame them."

"It is none of your business to tell me what to do, especially when you don't know all of the details." Vlad said. "I am your boss." An idea came into his head. He held the remote behind his back and pressed a button. "Besides, Samantha and Daniel know that I mean them no harm."

Danny felt Vlad take control of him again. He closed his mouth tightly and tried to resist, but he couldn't. "We'll be fine." He said. "Mr. Masters won't hurt us."

Sam was forced to continue. "Don't worry about us. Just don't get yourself fired."

Molly gave them both a strange look and glared defiantly at Vlad again. "If you dare hurt these kids I'll pour bleach down your throat when you're sleeping." She stormed away leaving Vlad standing in shocked silence.

"I would listen to her if I were you." Sam said. "She's serious."

Vlad blinked and looked at Sam and Danny. "What's the matter Samantha? Are you afraid to face the punishments I have planned for you?"

"Of course not." Danny said, glaring at Vlad. "If we weren't wearing these bracelets then I would have already gone ghost and have beaten you. If any one is afraid it's you. Instead of trying to fight us you use mind control."

Vlad narrowed his eyes and changed into his ghost form. "You need to be taught a lesson." He blasted Danny. "No one," He blasted Danny again. "Ever" Another blast, "Defies Vlad Plasmius."

Danny stood up carefully, wincing as pain filled him. "I thought Spectra was a good match. She could feed off of your misery, and you would be married to someone as evil and desperate as you." Vlad glared at Danny and Danny glared back.

"How many more women do you have lined up, Daniel?" Vlad said.

"Why should I tell you?"

Vlad reached forward and grabbed Sam's arm. "Because if you don't then Samantha will be paying for your insolence."

"I've had enough." Sam said angrily. "Stop calling me Samantha!" She kicked him in the knee, and because she always wore her combat boots it was a lot more painful than a normal kick. Vlad gasped in pain and released her arm to hold his knee. Then he realized that he still had the remote in his other hand and pressed a button. Sam and Danny stood still.

The room was silent for a moment. Vlad floated in the air to take the pressure off of his knee. "Now tell me Daniel and _Samantha_, how many more dates are coming my way. And tell the truth this time."

Danny tried to stop himself because he knew that Vlad would get very angry after hearing his answer, but he couldn't. "We don't know. Anyone who clicked on your profile will get your address and name."

Vlad's eyes widened and he dropped to the floor in surprise. He almost cried out as pain filled his knee again. "Is there any way to stop the women from coming?" he said.

"No." Danny answered. Vlad changed back into his human form.

What was he going to do? Vlad sighed in defeat and pressed a different button on the remote. "Fine. You will simply remain at my mansion until they stop coming." They began to leave. "And Daniel, you are forbidden from telling Ms. Virga that I punished you. I would prefer to live through the night."


	12. Titles Give Too Much Away

_**As a holiday present to you I'm giving you this very special chapter. Not only is it the longest chapter I've ever written on any story (over three thousand eight hundred words long), it is also a very unique chapter, as you will soon find out.**_

_**Dedications for this chapter go to dArkliTe-sPirit, Chaos inducer, and HiddenAuthor.**_

_**Merry Christmas, Joyeux Noel, Feliz Navidad, Happy Hanukah, Happy Kwanza, or whatever you happen to be celebrating or not celebrating at this time. And a happy new year!**_

Vlad was relieved when he woke up the next morning and was still alive. Until the door bell rang again. His ghost sense went off and he walked into a closet before he changed into his ghost form. Usually he wouldn't even care, but now that he knew that Molly was watching him he was more cautious.

He opened the door and felt his jaw drop open. This woman was even prettier than Spectra. She was wearing a long emerald skirt, a white blouse, and her eyes matched her skirt exactly. She had shoulder length black hair and tan skin, and she smiled at him.

"It's not polite to stare." She said, pushing Vlad's chin up with her hand. Vlad shook his head. What was wrong with him? She had a strange effect on him, and he knew that he was falling under some sort of spell but he couldn't stop it. "Tell me, how does such a handsome ghost like you stay single?"

"I… um…" She stopped him by putting her hand on his lips.

"That's okay, I don't need to know. May I come in?" She didn't wait for an answer and walked past Vlad anyway. "Why don't we go someplace quiet and talk?" Again she didn't wait for an answer. She strode away towards a different room and Vlad followed her slowly.

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"Who does she think she is?!" said Molly, pacing back and forth, "Coming in here like she owns the place and then walking away with him? And he just stares at her like she's a ten pound diamond or something. The other ghosts were fine, I knew that he was going to get rid of them, but this new chick's already got her talons into him. What are we going to do?"

Danny and Sam looked at each other and then back at Molly. "So… you don't even know the ghost's name?"

Molly blushed embarrassedly. "No, I don't. That's not the point though. We need to figure out a way to get that seducer away from him."

"I think we should let him fend for himself." Danny said, still angry from being beaten up by Vlad the night before. "If the ghost makes him fall in love with her and then breaks his heart or something then it's his fault." Sam glared at him.

She hadn't told Danny her idea yet, but Sam had already decided to try and pair Vlad and Molly up. But unfortunately her plan hadn't been working well so far. Especially since Danny hated Vlad and didn't want him to fall in love with anyone who was actually sane. Sam sighed and said, "Well if we want to see how this turns out we had better follow them."

"Follow me." Molly said, turning and walking in the direction Vlad and the other ghost had gone. Sam was about to when Danny grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"I found a loophole in what Vlad said last night." Danny said with an evil smirk. "He said that I couldn't tell Molly about him beating me up, but he never said that _you _couldn't."

"Danny-"

"Look, I know that Molly is in love with Plasmius, but she hates Vlad. When she finds out that they're the same person she won't love Vlad's ghost half anymore anyway. Just tell her what he did to me last night. If we're lucky she'll make Vlad let us go." He gave Sam the puppy dog look. "Please? If she can at least get him to take the bracelets off us then we can leave"

Sam said nothing. Danny smiled at her, thinking that she was going to go along with his plan, and ran to catch up with Molly. Sam sighed again before following.

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"So Vlad," The ghost said once they were in a different room. It was one of Vlad's many living rooms. "How long has it been since someone sweet and caring actually came to meet you, hmm?" She led Vlad by the arm over to the couch and made him sit next to her on it.

Vlad half smiled. "To meet me? A long time. It's not like many sweet and caring people are ghosts." There was a short pause. "You know my name, but I don't know yours."

"I'm Bloed." She said. "You poor ghost, all alone for so long. How do you stand it?"

"I don't know." Vlad said honestly. He already didn't like Bloed. She made him feel powerless, and that was definitely something he didn't want to be.

"Well don't worry. I don't plan on leaving for a long time." Bloed had a sinister smile on her face as she said this, and she moved closer to Vlad. "That is, unless you want me to go." She smiled at Vlad, who just looked overwhelmed.

"Eh hem."

Vlad and Bloed turned and saw Molly standing in the doorway holding a feather duster. "Hi, it's me, the maid." She said, struggling to keep the jealous tone out of her voice. "Just because you have… company," there was a pause while Molly looked at the feather duster, trying to stay as long as she could. "I really think Mr. Masters wouldn't like it if I didn't do my job."

"That's fine." Bloed said, her eyes flaring orange in anger. "We'll just go to another room." She stood up but Molly blocked the door.

"Nope, you can't do that because…" she thought for a plausible excuse. "Because there are some ghost hunters walking around!" Bloed didn't appear to believe Molly's excuse. "You can't leave this room or else they'll catch you."

"Right…" Bloed said, rolling her eyes. She walked over to Molly and whispered in her ear. "Look honey, this ghost is mine. I don't know what you see in him, but I see a rich lonely guy who would do anything to please me. Now you are going to walk out that door and leave us alone."

Molly glared furiously at her and was about to say something when Bloed shoved her out the door with ghostly strength. She slammed the door in Molly's face and locked it. Vlad, who had watched the whole thing, finally spoke. "What did you say to her?"

Bloed turned around and walked back over to Vlad. "Nothing that concerns you, darling." She wrapped her arms around Vlad and pulled him back down onto the couch. "Now where were we?" Bloed smirked and brought her face close to Vlad's. Just as she was about to kiss him the doorbell rang again.

Vlad stood up off of the couch, nearly knocking Bloed to the floor. "Someone's at the door! I'll be right back." He phased through the door as Bloed sat on the couch and pouted.

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Molly had been standing right outside the room where Vlad and Bloed had been. Vlad ran into her and they both fell down on top of each other. "Excuse me…" Molly said embarrassedly. They both stood up and looked anywhere else besides each other.

"I'm sorry that Bloed was so rude to you Ms…" Vlad caught himself just in time. Sometimes being two separate people was hard. He knew that Ms. Virga hated his human form, so if she found out that he was half ghost… well he didn't want to end up in a government lab somewhere.

"Please, just call me Molly." Molly said. She had a small smile on her face. At least Vlad was paying attention to her for once. "I'm sorry if I ruined your date or anything."

"You didn't ruin anything." Vlad said. "To be honest I was glad that you stopped her." There was an awkward pause until the doorbell rang several times. Whoever was at the door was getting annoyed. "I should probably get that."

There was another pause and the doorbell rang once more before Vlad left Molly and answered the door. It was another female ghost. She had very long black hair with a silver streak, green gold eyes, and she was wearing black. "I was wondering when you would finally open the door." She held out her hand and Vlad shook it. "I'm Zeena."

A small hissing sound came out of nowhere. Vlad looked down and saw that on the ghost's hand there was a small lizard looking thing staring up at Vlad. It crawled on Vlad's hand and bit down. Hard. Vlad yelled and shook his hand until the thing let go. Two wings opened up from its back and it flew over to Zeena, hissing angrily.

"Aww, he likes you!" Zeena said, holding the dragon in her arms. "May I come in?"

Vlad glared at the dragon and said, "I'm sorry, but animals are not allowed in my mansion." He didn't know what would happen if Bloed discovered that he had another woman in the castle, but he didn't want to find out. He had to get rid of Zeena quickly. "And I'm kind of busy."

Zeena's eyes turned blood red. "That's too bad." She said, her voice sounding like a growl. "For you." Vlad noticed that the dragon was gone, and that Zeena seemed to be transforming.

"Okay! You can come in!" he half yelled. Zeena instantly returned to normal and the dragon appeared on her hand again. It made a noise that sounded like laughter as Zeena passed Vlad and entered the house. "Follow me please." He led her down the hallway opposite the one Bloed had gone down.

Vlad and Zeena went into another living room. The dragon sat on one of the chairs and began ripping it apart. "Well my dragon likes it here. I could get used to living in a place like this."

"This is our first date." Vlad said, dreading what was coming. "I don't really think that you should be getting to comfortable yet."

"Oh really?" she said, anger edging into her voice. "Why? Are you seeing someone else?"

"No, it's just that I really don't think you should assume that we would take our relationship much farther." He noticed that the dragon had vanished again.

"You're dumping me already?" she said. Her skin rippled for a moment. "That isn't in your best interests you know." Vlad watched in horror as her face became more lizard like.

"Alright, I'm not dumping you." Vlad said quickly. Zeena's lizard face smiled and then returned to normal. The dragon was on her palm again. Suddenly the doorbell went off. Vlad jumped in surprise. "Could you excuse me for a moment?"

He almost sprinted out of the room.

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Danny glared at Sam behind Molly's back. He was very angry that Sam hadn't said anything about Vlad to Molly yet. Sam avoided looking at him and acted like she was innocent of all wrongdoing. Her plan was finally starting to work. Molly and Vlad had talked to each other for more than a minute.

She felt sorry for Vlad, even if he wouldn't stop calling her Samantha, and she didn't know what to do. Sure, she wanted to go home, but she also wanted to help Vlad and Molly. So she pretended not to notice Danny's glares.

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Vlad opened the door for a third time and found yet another ghost. She was dressed like she was from the middle ages, and she had a large gold medallion around her neck. "I'm Dora." She said, dropping into a small curtsy. "May I come in to your castle?"

Now Vlad really didn't know what to do. "Um, I'm really very busy right now, so if you don't mind…"

Dora didn't take the hint. "I'll wait until you get done." She said as she floated past Vlad and into his house. Vlad sighed and massaged his temples. Things were getting really out of hand now.

The other ghost began walking down the hallway to where Bloed was still waiting. Vlad flew up to her and said, "No, that hall is…" He searched for an excuse, "Being cleaned by Molly! The maid." He added the last part just in case Dora thought that he had another woman in the house. Of course he did have two others…

"Please, would you mind waiting in here until I take care of something?" He showed her to yet another room. "I'll be as quick as I can." He left Dora and flew back down another hallway where Bloed was waiting impatiently. Vlad floated in front of the door for a moment, not really wanting to go in. Bloed chose that moment to stick her head through the door.

"Where have you been?" She said, her eyes blazing orange. "It's not nice to keep a lady waiting." Her eyes changed back to emerald green as she grabbed him by the collar of his cape and dragged him through the door.

"I've been so nice to you Vlad." she purred, still holding him by the cape. "And I was really hoping that we could take our relationship to another level," she put her face next to her ear and whispered, "Besides small talk."

Vlad grabbed her hands with his and pulled them off of his collar. "Look, I barely know you and I really don't think that this is going to work out." He didn't like the way things were going. The ghost in front of him was a complete stranger, and he was very much regretting letting her in the house.

Bloed's eyes flared orange and stayed that way. "But I was hoping that you would take the position of boyfriend number thirteen. Thirteen's my lucky number you know."

"Boyfriend number thirteen?" Vlad asked, feeling confused. As if he needed another conflicted feeling in his head.

"Or 'that other boyfriend' if you prefer. I go between boyfriends each month. You were going to be the lucky man who got me when I was bored. But now you're dumping me." Her hands started changing in Vlad's. "So you're going to be ex-boyfriend number two hundred."

Vlad watched as she grew taller - about six feet high – and began to transform. Her skin turned light green and became scaly as horns sprouted over her orange eyes. She became a long dragon with two arms, and two leathery wings spread out from her back.

"Prepare to die again, Vladdie." She said, revealing a mouthful of long sharp teeth.

Vlad dropped her hands, and saw that they now had two sharp talons instead of fingers. As soon as he did she attacked. Vlad dodged and turned intangible just as her claws flew through him. Bloed's new tail smashed many objects on a shelf, and all of them were antiques. Vlad knew he had to lead her out of the room before she destroyed anything else.

He turned and blasted the door off of its hinges before flying away through the hallways. Bloed screamed furiously and followed. She was getting closer and closer until Vlad was positive she was going to catch up to him. Then two hands suddenly pulled him into a room, causing Bloed to fly straight past him.

Out of the corner of his eye Vlad caught a glimpse of a ghostly aura. He didn't turn around though, and kept his eyes fixed on the doorway just in case Bloed figured out where he was. "Thank you Dora." He said.

"Who's Dora?" A very angry Zeena said. Vlad spun around just in time to be pinned against the wall by two clawed hands. Zeena had become a dragon about two feet larger than Bloed, and she had more deadly looking talons.

"She's, um, uh…" Vlad sighed and decided that he couldn't lie his way out of this one. "Another woman that came to my house." Zeena's eyes burned red and Vlad gasped as the claws broke through his skin.

"So that's why you were gone so long!" She said. "It doesn't matter what your excuse is though. I plan on biting your head off just because you left me sitting in this ugly room. Green and gold do not go together well."

"Biting off… my head? Now doesn't that seem rather harsh?" Vlad didn't wait for a reply. He phased backward through the wall and out of Zeena's grip. Suddenly there was a large smashing sound as her head came through the wall. And she didn't phase it through either. Vlad ducked just as her jaws snapped shut around the air where his head had been.

He turned away and flew as fast as he could until he was back to the main entrance to his castle. There was no one there except for him, and he took a moment to calm down. Until two clawed hands wrapped around his throat. Bloed appeared out of thin air, just as Vlad remembered that they were dragon _ghosts_. Zeena entered the main room and saw Bloed choking Vlad and Vlad turning blue. Well, more blue than usual anyway.

"She's the girl you're dumping me for?" they both roared at the same time. Vlad glanced between the two dragons and wondered how they even knew that the other was a girl. Besides the eye shadow on Bloed, they both looked like they could be either gender. Then he wondered why he was thinking this when he should be trying to figure out how to escape.

Zeena came closer and glared at Bloed. "What do you see in this shrimp? She's only six feet long! And she doesn't even have legs. What is that stuff over her eyes supposed to be, makeup? She needs a lot more than that."

Bloed dropped Vlad on the ground and put her hands on where her hips would have been if she had any. "Who does this tramp think she is? She has no natural beauty at all! Why would you even consider trading a magnificent creature such as myself for someone so trashy?"

Vlad got to his feet and glared at the two dragons arguing. "I didn't invite either of you here! It was a prank pulled on me by a child. Even if I did I wouldn't ever go on a second date with either of you. You," he pointed to Bloed, "are a slut only interested in me for my money, and you," he pointed to Zeena, "are so used to getting your way that you bite peoples' heads off for no reason!"

The room fell into a shocked silence. Bloed and Zeena looked at each other and then back at Vlad. "Want to team up and make sure that there is nothing left of this ghost except for a piece of that red sheet he's wearing?" Zeena suggested.

Bloed shrugged. "Sure. I've got nothing else to do."

Vlad's eyes widened. He through up an ecto shield as flames engulfed him.

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"We've got to go help him!" Molly said. Danny and Sam were both holding her back to stop her from running in to fight the dragons. The only weapon she had was a fire extinguisher, but she was determined to go save Vlad.

"I'm sure he can save himself." Danny said. At that moment Vlad was launched across the room and into a wall by a blast from Zeena. "Okay, maybe he can't."

"Danny, we have to do something!" Sam said angrily. "Molly won't stand a chance against those dragons."

"We wouldn't have to be holding her back if you had just told her about Vlad! Besides, it's his fault for letting three ghosts all into his house at once."

"Three ghosts? That's it!" She let go of Molly, causing her to fall over. "Molly, the third ghost who came is friendly. We can get her to help us save Vla- I mean, the ghost."

Molly stood up and looked at Sam skeptically. "Yeah, or she might just go crazy and turn into a dragon like the other two."

"I trust Dora." Sam said. "Come on." She ran down the hall to the room where Dora was. Molly looked back at the battle for a moment before following.

Danny watched them both go. The last thing he wanted to do was help Vlad. Why wouldn't Sam just tell Molly about how evil Vlad was? Then they would be able to leave. He glared at Vlad and then went to the room Molly and Sam had gone into.

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Vlad sent blast after blast at the two dragons, but whenever one seemed to be weakened the other attacked. He ended up dodging most of their attacks, but what hurt even more than the fire was the fact that the two crazy ghosts were destroying a lot of his Packers collection.

After a particularly painful smack in the head he was knocked to the ground. He opened his eyes and saw Molly looking back at him. "You're okay!" she said, sounding relieved.

Then Vlad noticed that standing next to Molly was Dora. She looked like she was deciding whether to strangle Vlad or not. "You shouldn't toy with maidens' hearts." She said. "Especially when those maidens can become dragons." Vlad braced himself and waited for her to attack, but she didn't.

Instead she stepped past Vlad and turned into her dragon form. It was several feet larger than Zeena's and Bloed's combined. Zeena and Bloed stared up at Dora and gasped. She picked them both up with one hand and glared at them.

"I know that he's an evil ghost who only called us here to break our hearts, but he can't help it. Use your powers in a more productive manner. Like seducing princes so that you can become queen of their kingdom." Dora carried the ghosts away to Vlad's lab and took them with her into the Ghost Zone.

Vlad noticed that Molly, Sam, and Danny were all staring at him. Molly because she liked him, Sam because she was trying to figure out how to tell Molly that Vlad Plasmius and Vlad Masters were the same person without breaking Molly's heart, and Danny simply because he hated Vlad's guts.

"Yes, well… I'd better leave now." He floated through the floor and flew around until he was upstairs before changing back into his human form.

As he was walking down the stairs Molly was on her way up, determined to be as far away as possible from the mess in the main entrance. "Hello Molly." Vlad said without thinking.

Molly stopped and looked at Vlad. "That's… Ms. Virga to you." She continued up the stairs and glanced over her shoulder several times at Vlad.

Vlad continued down the stairs, now beginning to realize that Molly hated his human half but at least didn't mind his ghost half. Maybe his ghost half should be around more often.


	13. Analise Saling

**I am deeply deeply sorry for making you guys wait so long! Life happens I guess. Good news though, I bought a laptop and can take it with me and type wherever! Woo! I'm still taking new characters, so send em in!**

**Also, since this story seems to have no end in sight, after significant plot twists I will post the last chapter and then continue with more dates as if they were before the end. Sound good?**

**This chapter if for BJA Fan, who sent in Analise Saling. I laughed my butt off when I read the description, hopefully this chapter isn't too bad. If there's any readers who still care about this story, please review!**

The next day Vlad was pacing back and forth across the main hallway, waiting for something to happen. He paused, realizing that it had started to become a habit for him to wait for another girl to show up. Vlad frowned and continued pacing, realizing that Daniel was going to need to be punished again for putting him through this.

There was a knock on the door. Vlad stared at it for a moment, wondering if he was willing to put himself through any more torture. Then the door was opened and it was too late.

At first he thought someone was holding a couple of balloons. He blinked and bit his tongue to stop himself from saying anything when he realized that it was actually the new woman's cheeks that he was staring at. She wasn't fat, quite the opposite actually, but her cheeks looked shiny almost.

When she saw him she smiled… sort of. It looked more like a grimace, and it made her face squeak. Vlad was instantly reminded of the doll that was criticized so much because it made girls think they had to have a tiny wait, and big hips to be pretty. This girl had obviously spent too much time with her toys. Darbie was it?

Her face squeaked again forcing Vlad to pay attention to her. "I'm Analise Saling," She said, squeaking the whole time. Ana held out her hand, expecting Vlad to kiss it. He shook it instead, knowing perfectly well what she wanted and still not caring enough to do it. Who did she think he was, Romeo?

Ana took back her hand and ran it through her obviously bleached blond hair; acting like she thought Vlad hadn't noticed it. Vlad, who was getting very annoyed with the silent one-sided flirting, said, "I'm Vlad Masters, as you probably know. How may I help you?"

Her face became shinier as she made a strangled gurgling sound that used to be a laugh before her head muscles froze from too much Botox. "You're not supposed to say that on a date! Come on, let's go someplace more comfortable." She grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the door.

Vlad groaned. The bruises and burns from the last time he was dragged off to go get more comfortable still hurt. This time though, he was pretty sure that Molly wouldn't feel like helping him.

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In fact Molly Sam and Danny were currently cleaning the upstairs bathrooms and were unaware of Vlad's latest guest. Mr. Masters, acting on an impulse brought on by a side of him that actually had feelings for Molly, decided that Sam and Danny should help Molly with her job.

Molly was completely shocked. She had woken up to find the two teens picking up the front hallway, and watched as they moved on through the house. "What the heck are you guys doing?" She demanded. "I get paid for this stuff and I never work this hard."

"We just thought we should give you more free time." Danny insisted through clenched teeth. He was in the process of scrubbing the toilet with Vlad's toothbrush. He was forced to clean, but Vlad didn't bother being specific about what he should clean _with. _

Sam was cleaning the shower, and every time she let her mind wander her thoughts would turn to who's shower she was cleaning and she would gag. "Yeah, you deserve a break."

"You both know I hardly work at all in this huge place. Please stop."

They both wanted to stop very much, but Vlad had programmed the bracelets to make them work all day. "Maybe you should talk to Vlad." Sam said, making it sound like she was forced to say it. Danny gave her a strange look but couldn't say anything.

"Why? Is he behind this? Did he threaten you two? Or maybe he's trying to prove to me that kids can do my job better than I can." Molly didn't even look at them for an answer. She stormed out of the room and down the stairs in search of Vlad.

Danny glared at the toilet he had been working on for the past half hour. He ran the brush around the rim again, spit on it, and set it back in the rack. There. All clean. Sam stepped out of the shower and avoided Danny's questioning stare. She sighed and whispered, "Maybe she'll figure it out for herself and help us." Sure, that wasn't Sam's real reason, but Danny didn't need to know that. The bracelets took them to the next room and they started working.

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Back downstairs Vlad and Ana were sitting in one of the undestroyed living rooms. Ana was talking Vlad's ears off.

"Plastic surgery really is the fountain of youth." She said. "You can't even tell that I'm sixt- oops! Ladies shouldn't tell their ages to strange men." Ana gurgled again and Vlad rolled his eyes. He really wasn't sure how much of this he could take.

"Well, after you learn to ignore the pain of the injections and the stitches, you can fix pretty much anything! You should have seen me before I met my last husband. Rolls of fat just rolling off of me. Then I went to a cosmetic surgeon who just sucked it all away. I remember once I was accidentally taken to the wrong operating room, and they gave me a nose job instead of a lipo. Uh, I was so mad! Then I got used to my nose and it's my favorite feature! On my face that is…"

Vlad knew he was expected to agree. Personally though he felt that her nose looked like a tomato, and that her face looked sort of like a baboon's rear end. "Your nose is nice, comparatively."

"Thank you! You know Chad," she said, fluttering her false eyelashes. "Out of all the men interested in me, you're the one I'm the most attracted to." She leaned forward and Vlad blocked her face with his hand, noticing that her cheeks felt as stretched as they looked.

"It's Vlad." He said, "And I know that you're in it for money to give yourself more surgery."

"That's silly! I've already had all of the touch ups I needed for this year. I wouldn't come to your house unless I looked the best I could! You wouldn't believe how expensive that was, especially since the surgeons kept insisting on more nips and tucks." She looked thoughtful, for once. "They've never done that before. After I told them that the bill was going to you they got really friendly."

Vlad restrained himself from yelling. He had worked hard for his (stolen) money, and now this woman was spending it on adding plastic to her body! "This isn't working. Leave." Courtesy was wasted on this woman.

Ana stood up angrily. "Fine! I don't need you! There are plenty of men out there who dream of having a woman like me to take care of!" She stomped on his foot and stormed out of the room.

Vlad sat back in a chair and closed his eyes against a coming headache. Ana was one of the easier ones to get rid of, but he was beginning to lose all hope of the chain of woman ever ending. He took a deep breath and was about to go search for aspirin when Molly strode in looking more furious than Ana.

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Throughout all of the excitement Skulker, (who was thrown through a window a few chapters back), was having a small adventure of his own. After Vlad sent him away Skulker was too weak to really do anything. His ghost form had very few powers, and the ones that it had weren't strong at all.

So, while Danny and Sam were getting to know Molly, Skulker was mistaken for a lawn gnome and spent a day with a plastic flamingo and a vicious lawn gnome chewing cat. Then he escaped only to be captured by… a little kid who mistook him for a toy.

Finally he made it back to the ghost zone. Almost all of the way there he avoided trouble, until he made it back to his island. His guard dog, (known as Cujo) thought he was a squeaky toy and gnawed on him for a few days. Finally he escaped him and got into his spare battle suit.

He wanted more than anything to get revenge on Vlad, and contacted the suit still stuck in the Specter Speeder. It came to life and eventually made it back to Skulker.

After that Skulker made a profit by showing the ghost zone tourists movies of his time in the real world. Mainly the videos concerning Vlad and his never ending torture. Skulker smiled as he watched for the tenth time Vlad getting arrested. Payback was very sweet.


	14. Elsa Emerson

_**A few days ago I discovered that someone was a big fan of this story. A really big fan. Or at least a fan of the 200 reviews I have. In fact, they stole this story and posted it on Deviant Art under their name, claiming credit for it for almost a year. Apparently it was a lot of work, according to her, because her comments said things like, 'I have no idea where I get my inspiration,' 'I wrote my hand off' and, 'The things I do for my ideas.' **_

_**Other stories have been stolen off of here too, such as Checkmate, by pearl84, Madworld by Sleep Warrior, Till The End, by TavalyaRa and many others still. CheyennexSnape, the thief, changed many of these stories by adding her own character. If you recognize any of the stories, please tell the author. We're trying are hardest to take action against this.**_

**_She has a lot of slash pics on there, so view at your own risk._**

http//cheyennexsnape. deviantart. com/gallery/

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**_This chapter is dedicated to Mrs. Masters. It's late, I know._**

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Vlad stood up from his chair as soon as Molly stomped in. "Is something wrong, Molly?"

Molly stopped for a moment and stared at him. For a second he sounded a lot like the ghost who haunted the huge mansion. She ignored the similarity in voice and regained her anger. "Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I know that it is none of my business to ask questions, that I'm just here to clean, but I refuse to work here unless I talk to you about something."

"And what would that be?" Vlad tried to hide his nervousness. Had she figured out that he was the Wisconsin Ghost? And she was taking it this badly?

She glared at him. "Don't act like you don't know. It's the only explanation for what's been going on around here."

"Listen, I don't know how you found out, but it's nothing to get worked up over. I can pay you as much money as you want, and you can just forget about this place. The Guys In White can be left out of this and we can both go our separate ways."

They stared silently at each other until Molly said, "What?"

"Honestly I was hoping that you would take it better than this." Vlad sighed. Well, his plan to help Molly failed miserably. Oh well, back to chasing Madd-

"Mr. Masters, did you expect me to sit back and smile while you force two teenagers to do my job? I can handle it, and I think it's stupid of you to assume that they can do it better than me." Molly was trying to be as professional as she could. The more she thought about it the more she realized that she really needed her job, and that meant being at least courteous to Vlad, which annoyed her. Sure she had a degree in Biology, and one in Physics too, but no, she decided to go clean rich men's houses!

Vlad's face froze. So she hadn't found out about his ghost half? "Daniel and Samantha? They aren't here to take your job Molly, I thought you could use some help. After all, this is a big house, and with all of the… problems going on around here there is a lot more work than usual to be done. I promise you I do not intend to get rid of you."

All of Molly's anger fell out of her. Vlad had actually tried to do something… nice? She turned to leave, but then stopped and faced him again. "Um, thank you Mr. Masters."

"If there's any problems with those two just let me know. I'll tell them that they don't have to help you unless you ask them." For some reason he wanted to smile at her, but didn't. He did not want her mad again. The two of them stood in silence for a few more seconds until the doorbell rang. Vlad groaned.

"I'll get it." Molly said, "Maybe I can get rid of her for you." She felt a little guilty since she rarely ever worked all that hard, and decided she should return Vlad's favor. As soon as she left Vlad smiled, actually forgetting about Maddie for once.

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Molly opened the door and ended up dragging someone with it. The new date was scrubbing fiercely at the doorknob and didn't even notice that the door had opened. "So many fingerprints!" she mumbled. "Can't the billionaire afford a maid around this place?"

"How can I help you?" Molly said, narrowing her eyes. The other woman stood up and gasped.

"Ugh how unsanitary! Wearing jeans and a tank top! Do you know how much skin flakes off of your arms? Then it gets all over everything! At least I wear jackets over my t-shirts! It's the clean thing to do!" She pulled her jacket tighter around her, even though it was the middle of summer and very hot outside. She was staring at Molly with very wide eyes, like she couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Are you here to see Mr. Masters?" Now Molly wanted to strangle the lady. Insulting her outfit! "What is your name?"

"I am Elsa Emerson, not Eliza, not Ella, Elsa. I am exactly thirty-two years, six months, three weeks, and five days old exactly. Not a day older or younger. Don't forget that now! Vlad called me here because- Ah! Filth!" Elsa dropped to her hands and knees and began scrubbing the floor with a cloth. "Do you know who the maid is around here? She does a very poor job, this place is filthy! No wonder he wanted me to come!"

"I do all of the necessary cleaning around here. We do not need anyone else. Thank you for your time and visit, but you're going to leave now." Molly put out her hand to help Elsa up, but Elsa flinched and stood up by herself.

"Oh no, I can't leave yet! I haven't even seen Mr. Masters yet! And this place is disgusting! I can't leave knowing it's so horrid here, I'd never sleep again! As a housemaid you above all people should know to keep everything sparkling! What do you get paid for?"

"Look Eleanor," Molly said, jabbing Elsa with her finger, "I am the one who decides what gets cleaned, and what gets dirty around here, and you know what?" Molly tipped over a stack of books that Danny and Sam had spent the morning picking up. "I don't need some psycho with frizzy hair telling me I stink at my job!"

Elsa looked around, said, "Oh dear, what a mess," and fainted. Molly took a step backwards just as Danny and Sam walked up.

"What's going on?" Sam said, looking between Molly and the lady lying on the floor.

"Vlad pretended to act nice and told me that he wasn't going to replace me, and then this creep shows up, insults me, and scrubs the floor. I knock over some books and the next thing you know she fainted. Her name's Eliza, and no matter what she says, don't call her Elsa."

Elsa woke up and stared at Danny and Sam. "Oh my, he has children? Quite filthy, aren't you? Here, let me help." She reached into her purse and pulled out another cloth and a spray bottle. The two teenagers looked at each other in confusion and were about to say something when she squirted them both in the faces and began scrubbing.

"Hey! Stop! Eliza!" Danny shoved her hand away and glared at her.

"Stupid too. My name is Elsa Emerson."

"Hey, Eliza, look at the huge mess over there." Molly said, pointing at the books. Elsa gasped and fainted again. "How dare Vlad try to replace me! I really need this job. And I won't be able to see the ghost again if I get fired."

Danny wiped the water off of his face with his arm. "I'm sure you can find another job, Molly. Plas- the ghost doesn't seem like someone anyone could get close to."

"I guess you do make a good point. It's silly to be obsessed over someone I don't really have a chance with."

Danny looked smug.

"But I'm not giving up that easily." She glared down at Elsa. "If Vlad wants an insane maid, he can have her. But I'm going to make him regret inviting her here." Molly grabbed Elsa's arms and dragged her to the room Vlad was still in.

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Vlad had stayed where he was, hoping that Molly would actually be able to get rid of the new date. He knew he should take the opportunity to actually get some work done, but the chair he was in was so comfortable though, and he hadn't slept in days…

He woke up to the smell of disinfectant and a scream. "Dust! What will we do!"

Vlad sat up and looked around the almost painfully sparkling room. "Molly? Is that you?" He got out of the chair and saw a short woman with a lot of frizzy hair scrubbing the already clean floor. "Hello?"

She glanced up at him and then went back to cleaning. "So you're finally awake? I went ahead and started cleaning this room. Your maid is really very rude, and she doesn't do her job at all. Do you realize that she actually refused to let me in? And your children are horribly dirty. The girl's hair and clothes were black with filth! And the boy was rude and sloppy. How can you even allow such people into your house!"

"Well-" Vlad started to say.

"At least you seem to realize the importance of being clean. The suit was a little wrinkled, and your shoes needed polishing, but I took care of that."

Vlad shuddered. "Look, miss, I already have a maid, and she does her job just fine. I don't see the chances of any kind of relationship happening between us, so I must insist that you leave."

"Oh, I can't leave yet! To be honest the thought of dating you repulses me. But this whole castle is so disgusting! I've got to clean it all!" She resumed scrubbing the floor. Vlad stood up angrily, prepared to throw the woman out of the house, when Molly strode in carrying a garbage can.

"Oops!" Molly said, pretending to trip. She dropped the can and garbage spilled all over Elsa. "There goes the garbage. All over Eliza"

"Molly?" Vlad said, confused. "What are you doing? There isn't a trash can in here for you to empty, and it isn't even garbage day."

Elsa became panicked. "Ah! I'm covered in horrible, stinky, putrid, GARBAGE!" She yelled. "Vlad, how could you let your maid do this to me?" Elsa yanked out sanitizer and began scrubbing her hands. "I've got to go home and clean! This will take me hours!" She whined and ran from the room.

"Don't bother coming back Eliza!" Vlad yelled, very happy she was gone.

"THAT'S ELSA!"

"Thank you, Molly, for helping me get rid of that woman." He took a deep breath. "She couldn't replace you if she tried." Silence. Vlad frowned and turned to look at his maid. But the room was empty. She had left as soon as Vlad's back was turned. The billionaire sighed. Why did woman have to be so hard to understand?


	15. Madame Loretta

**_Dedicated to HiddenAuthor_**

**_EDIT 3/13: New ending sentance thanks to Unrealistic!_**

**Ding Dong**

Vlad sighed and pulled open the door. "I'm very busy, so if you'd be so kind as to-" a cloud of smoke was blown in his face, causing him to stop. He waved it away and glared down at the woman who was standing in front of him. She looked fairly old, perhaps fifty, and not at all attractive. She had long frizzy black hair and was hunched over, with fingers like claws.

In other words, she was ugly. Her clothing was even worse though. She had jewelry all over her, huge earrings, several bracelets, and long necklaces. She was wearing a large beaded shawl and a headpiece to match. "Sorry about the costume hon, I just got off work." The woman said, blowing another cloud of smoke from the cigarette she was holding.

"And what, dare I ask, is your job?" Vlad already wanted to hit himself for asking.

"I'm a performer, star of the TV screen. Haven't you ever heard of Madame Loretta's Spook Hour on the Paranormal Channel?"

"Let me guess, you're Madame Loretta."

"Yup. You can call me Loretta- World-renowned séance conductor. I've brought people as close to the dead as they can get without actually kicking the bucket." She leaned closer to Vlad, who leaned away. "But I'll let you in on a little secret. None of that mumbo jumbo is real. Ghost's exist just about as much as other realms do."

Vlad stared at her, then coughed to cover a laugh. "So you tell people you talk to the dead and don't even believe in ghosts?" This was almost as bad as Lauren.

"You expect me to believe that there are the dead spirits of people floating around here?"

"That's your job, isn't it?"

Loretta laughed, and flicked her cigarette over into a bush, earning her another glare from Vlad. "Sure is hon. No one's dared to call me a fake, and you've just proved my point. People will believe anything if it's exciting enough." She peaked around Vlad and spotted Danny as he walked past. "Here, I'll show you." Loretta pushed past Vlad and entered his house, quickly going over to Danny.

"Child," She said dramatically, "Would you like to see something terrifying and wonderful? Something that will blow your mind away?"

Danny glared at her, wishing that he hadn't decided to come see who was at the door. "Okay, first off, I am _not_ a child. I'm fifteen."

"I can show you the supernatural world, a world full of mystery and amazement!"

"It really isn't that exciting, once you've seen most of it."

"Wouldn't you like to speak with the dead?" Loretta asked, her dramatic tone wavering for a moment.

"Not really, no. Most of them don't have anything exciting to say."

Now the woman dropped the act completely. "Look kid, I'll give you five bucks to play along and let me perform a séance for you and any friends you have. I need to impress old money bags over there." She whispered, taking a five-dollar bill out of her pocket.

"Sold!" Danny said, taking the money and going off to find Sam and Molly.

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"I can't believe you dragged me into this Danny!" Sam hissed to her friend. The five of them were seated around a circular table, very reluctantly holding hands.

"Hey, she offered me five bucks for a chance to annoy Vlad, I couldn't resist." Danny said, smirking. The lights were out, with only a few candles to light up the room. In the center of the table a large crystal ball that Madame Loretta had brought was placed.

Molly looked furious but kept quiet, trying to have the least amount of contact with Vlad as possible. She was holding his hand with two fingers.

Vlad was glaring at Danny from where he sat between Loretta and Molly. As soon as Danny left Loretta began ordering the servants around, and as hard as Vlad tried to get her to leave she would always refuse. Next to Loretta was an ashtray, which she conveniently kept missing as she dropped ashes. Loretta had Vlad's hand in an iron grip, and he could tell that Molly was just putting up with this because Danny asked her to.

"There are spirits all around us," Loretta said, her voice dramatic again, "And they can speak to us, if we know the way to contact them. Today, we will speak with these beings from beyond, and revel in their knowledge."

"Knowledge of what?" Danny asked.

"Of the great beyond!" Loretta said, still keeping the act going.

""What if we talk to a lame ghost, like one that haunts boxes?"

"Or one with a hero complex?" Vlad smirked as he said this.

"Or a lonely bachelor fruitloop who desperately needs a cat!" Danny said, his eyes flashing green.

"Or a hormonal pubescent teenager with an idiot father?!"

"Or a forty year old virgin?!"

Vlad opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't think of something more insulting than what Danny had just said. Instead he resorted to glaring at him. Everyone was silent for a moment until Loretta continued. "Let us call on these spirits to guide us in the mysteries of the afterlife! Whether they are ghosts who haunt boxes or desperate bachelors!" Now Vlad's glare switched to her.

Loretta began to chant and wave her arms, making Sam and Vlad wave the arms she was holding too. Her jewelry clanged loudly and her eyes rolled back in her head. "Here they come! The ghosts!" Vlad, Sam, and Danny glanced at each other, while Molly looked bored.

"Ooh, you can feel their presence in this room! Feel the chill run down your spines as their cold souls enter our sense of perception? Your hairs stand on end as they approach? They whisper to me the answers to all of the world's questions, and wait for you to ask of them what you want.

"Yeah, why can't the rest of us see these 'ghosts'?" She asked, dropping Vlad and Danny's hands to put quotes around ghosts.

"Don't break the circle!" Madame Loretta barked, and Molly reluctantly held hands with the others again.

"Are you going to answer my-"

"Who has a question for the spirits from beyond?" Loretta called, looking around the table.

"Why can't we see them?" Sam asked, a grin on her face.

"Because they're invisible! Next question!" She yelled, her jewelry clanking again.

Vlad had decided he had had enough of this. He grinned and an invisible copy of Plasmius appeared behind him. Danny's ghost sense went off and he looked at Vlad suspiciously. Vlad smirked at Danny, and suddenly the table began to rise in front of them.

Loretta's eyes bulged out of her head as the table rose, then she calmed down. "Ah, so you've got one of the tables the studio uses. You must be a big fan." She whispered to Vlad. He scowled and the table sank back down.

Danny blinked and realized what was going on, and a grin spread across his face. "Hey, Madame Loretta, did you know that this place is haunted?"

She laughed mockingly. "Of course it is dear. Now be quiet, I'm trying to channel the spirits."

"Yeah!" Molly said suddenly. "He's a really powerful one too."

"I wouldn't say that…" Danny muttered, earning a glare from Vlad.

"Do you think you could bring him here?" Molly asked, interested now.

"I… er… Of course I can!" Loretta said, looking at Molly like she was insane. She shut her eyes and called out, "Spirit that resides in this house hold, come forth and speak to us!" Nothing happened. Loretta opened her eyes half way. "The spirit is speaking to me. He says that he is searching for something, that he has unfinished business, so that is why he stays."

From above them suddenly came the sound of laughter. Everyone looked up, including Loretta. Plasmius smirked down at her. "Really? I don't recall ever saying those words. Maybe you should clear out your ears, old woman."

Loretta gasped and stumbled backwards, pulling Vlad and Sam with her. "W-what?" Then she regained her composure, leaning over to Vlad. "Wow, great special effects. I've never seen a hologram that looked so real."

Plasmius landed in front of her, frowning. "Hologram? I'm a ghost. Just like you called for."

She turned pale. "How… how did you get him to talk Vladdy?"

Vlad shrugged. "He's a ghost, not a hologram."

Danny, Sam, and Molly watched, trying to hold in laughter. Plasmius leaned towards Loretta, and said, "Boo."

She screamed and ran from the room. "G-ghosts! They're real! All this time, they've been real!"

There was another scream, louder than the first, and someone shouted, "BEWARE! I am the Bo-" before the door slammed.


	16. Dana Ambel

***Is Shaking* Please don't kill me! I know I'm a horrible, terrible, no good very bad person for taking so long to update! Meep! (is killed)**

**My excuse? You guys are too awesome, and don't deserve any excuse I could ever come up with! But… it's because I am sucked into the world of roleplaying on . It's… so very, very addicting… like crack, only the side effects are you get pale from lack of detachment from the computer!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Unrealistic! Of Yami-Chan and Unrealistic.**

**I love the reviews so much! And one thing I **_**can**_** promise is that I won't cop out and give you a chapter that says, "Sorry, I'm giving up on this story." So look forward to the next chapter sometime next year! (Is killed again) Kidding! I hope.**

**And yes, I AM still taking in character ideas!**

**Quick Review: The last chapter was about a psychic who spoke with the dead, but didn't believe in ghosts! Vlad used Plasmius to chase her out.**

Plasmius glanced at Molly, who was smiling at him, and vanished. Turning around to face the table, Vlad looked at Danny angrily. "If you ever interfere with me again while I am trying to rid myself of these horrible women, you _will_ be punished."

Danny glared at him, and opened his mouth to speak when Molly stood up. "Mr. Masters, he didn't mean anything by it at all. I would have done the same thing. Now, leave these kids alone, or I'll personally see to it that you regret ever bringing them here." She turned and stormed off.

Vlad looked stunned for a moment, then glared at both Sam and Danny. "You two will be spending the day organizing and cleaning my collection of Packers memorabilia." He said, taking the remote from his pocket and pressing a button. Both of them struggled but were forced to walk away.

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There was a surprising lull in the stream of women coming to Vlad's door after that. He was even beginning to hope that they had finally stopped coming all together. Unfortunately he had too much bad karma for that to be the case.

The doorbell rang and Vlad reluctantly walked to the front door. He was just about to open it when a bright blue blast knocked him and the door backwards and into a wall. Vlad ground his teeth together and was about to change into his ghost form but decided not to when he saw the person who had blasted the door off of its hinges.

She was wearing a bleached white suit, and seeing it sent a slight chill down Vlad's spine. The suit looked a lot like the one the Guys in White had been wearing, and they were merciless ghost hunters, even if they were a bit stupid.

Whoever she was looked around the entranceway suspiciously. "I could have sworn that there was a ghost was here a moment ago." Vlad pushed the remains of the door off of him and got a better look at the intruder. She was as tall as Vlad, possibly taller, and she gazed around the room with piercing blue eyes. She was holding a large gun with two hands, and as soon as Vlad moved she pointed it right at his face.

Vlad managed to remain calm. He had dealt with the government before. "Welcome to my mansion. How can I be of service?"

She somehow managed to pull out an ID without losing her hold on the gun. "I'm Dana Ambel, member of the sister organization to the Guys in White, the Gals in White. At the prompting of my co-workers I have decided to go out with you. My equipment detects the presence of two extremely powerful ghosts in the vicinity. One of them appears to be either overshadowing you or behind you."

Vlad began to panic. He was used to having his own inventions telling him he was half ghost, but he had never really had to face other ghost hunters before. "Your equipment must be malfunctioning. My home is not haunted, and I certainly am not being controlled by a ghost."

"Then you won't mind if I search your mansion for ghosts?" Dana said, never once lowering her gun.

"Ms. Ambel, this is my _private _mansion. You have no warrant to search this place, and you don't have my permission. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

She didn't move. "It's either that, or you will be subjected to a series of painful tests that have been approved by the government in order to see if you are a ghost."

"I'm not a ghost!"

"And I will audit your taxes."

"Let me take you on the grand tour."

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Sam, Danny, and Molly had been listening to the whole thing as usual, and Molly had also begun to panic. "That insane woman is going to find the ghost, and then she'll kill him!" there was a pause, "Well, kill him again I guess. We have to warn him!"

Danny didn't really care what happened to Vlad or his ghost half. After all, he and Sam had been forced to clean and sort all of that stupid cheese head stuff. "I'm sure he'll be fine. I've faced the Guys in White plenty of times and I've always been able to hide my ghost…" Sam had put her hand over Danny's mouth to stop him from accidentally revealing his secret.

"Ghost what?" Molly asked curiously. Sam pulled her hand away from Danny's mouth.

"Um, uh… Ghost… Dog!" Sam and Molly both gave him a disbelieving look. "My ghost dog, Cujo. He uh, pops in from time to time." As if on cue a small green puppy appeared and barked happily. Cujo jumped on Danny and slobbered all over him, then did the same to Sam.

"This is why I'm a cat person." Sam said, wiping drool off of her face. Cujo turned and stared at Molly before transforming into his huge guard dog form.

Molly walked slowly over to Cujo and began petting him. "Aww, he's still fuzzy even though he's green!" Cujo smiled and turned back into a puppy.

Danny and Sam stared at Molly in surprise. Molly shrugged and picked up Cujo. "I'm a dog person." Her eyes widened as she suddenly realized something. "We have to hide him before that ghost hunter discovers that we have him. Now we have to warn the other ghost and hide Cujo at the same time."

"You really should ask him what his name is." Sam said. "Besides, I don't think we'll find him. He's a… smart ghost, and I think he can avoid Dana. We should focus more on hiding the dog."

Noticing that he was being talked about, Cujo barked happily before vanishing out of Molly's arms.

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Vlad quickly led Dana around the mansion, hoping that none of the ghosts who frequently visited him appeared.

"Hmm, I have seen nothing unusual yet, except for your strange attraction to the colors green and gold. You're a Packers fan, right? Not surprising that you would chose to decorate your house this way. Do you play any football yourself?"

"Well, I did for the few years I was in college, but-"

"Good. Football is like war. You need strength, guts, and the urge to kill your opponent. They should make contact sports part of the elementary school curriculum. Maybe then our nation wouldn't be so full of weaklings." At that moment a loud beeping sound filled the air. Vlad jumped in surprise and Dana pulled out a ghost tracking device.

"Hmm, there are three disturbances. A small one coming towards us, and the two that my equipment detected earlier." She looked at Vlad critically. "But why a ghost so powerful would overshadow you, I don't know."

Vlad didn't know whether to feel offended or relieved. "I'm sure it's just an equipment malfunction. I've told you before, this mansion is not-" Cujo chose that moment to appear, knock Vlad over, and start licking his face. "-Haunted"

Suddenly Dana had a large gun aimed right at Cujo. "You're under arrest for violating code number 8873k9, aka keeping a level three dog apparition hidden while under government inspection." Vlad sat up, pushing the little green puppy off of him.

"This isn't my dog. I have no idea where he came from, and besides, I'm not under inspection. This was supposed to be a date, wasn't it?" Vlad hated himself for reminding her of her horrid purpose for being there, but he wanted very much to get on with it and send this woman away. He glanced around desperately and spotted Molly, Danny, and Sam coming towards him. "Ah! Here! Take this ghost and dispose of it!" He said, handing Cujo to Danny. They seemed confused. "DO IT NOW!" He half yelled. Molly ushered them away quickly.

Vlad sighed, and turned to face Dana. "They're my ah, ghost hunting team." He said. 'That's er, probably why you're sensing so many ectoplasmic disturbances. Now… how about dinner?" He suddenly felt wet. He looked down to see a large wet spot on his chest… where Cujo had been sitting moments before. _Ghost dog urine. I bet this will never come out._

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"The nerve of him! Telling us to get rid of this sweet wittle puppy!" Molly said, hugging Cujo. "Who could ever want to get rid of this cute face!" They were in Molly's room, a medium sized bedroom with, (which disturbed Danny and Sam greatly), pictures of Plasmius posted on the walls.

Danny shook his head. "We probably should get him out of here, though. That woman was a Guy in White! Er… A Girl in White, I guess." He looked at Sam. "Any ideas on how to do that?"

"Don't look at me, you two are the ones who are dog people." She said, crossing her arms. "I'm with Vlad, let's get rid of the little drool monster."

Cujo was suddenly huge, growling down at Sam.

"Or…. Not…." She said, eyes wide.

"Cujo! Bad puppy! No eating people!" Molly scolded, pulling on Cujo's collar with little effect.

Cujo's ears suddenly perked up and he sniffed the air, wagging his tail. He bounded out of the room, going through the wall, and Molly crossed her arms. "Hmph! I hope he get's Vlad in trouble with his new girlfriend!"

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Vlad had changed his suit, and was sitting across the large table from Dana. "So… er… what is it you like to do?" He asked. _What is taking that chef so long?!_ He thought bitterly.

"Eradicate ghosts from existence, and anything that can cause pain and build character and endurance."

"How… interesting." Vlad said, faking a smile. _Come on! The sooner she eats, the sooner I can send her away!_

She was silent, staring at various ghost hunting equipment she had brought. Vlad coughed, and looked towards the kitchen. Suddenly the chef ran out, covered in some clear, glistening goo that looked suspiciously like giant dog slobber. "You don't pay me enough for this job!" He yelled at Vlad, before running out the door. Vlad stood, and was about to go towards the kitchen when Cujo came out, chewing on the roast that was supposed to be their dinner.

"8873k9! 8873k9!" Dana yelled, drawing her gun. Cujo growled when he saw it, and bounded over, taking the large gun like a stick and chewing on it. "The spectral canine ceases to desist!" She said, screaming as Cujo stood and wagged his tail, expecting another 'toy'. Dana turned, blasting at Cujo, but he just grabbed the second gun. "This date was not satisfactory!" She said as she ran from the mansion, Cujo right behind her.

Vlad sank down in his chair, relieved, and muttered, "I suppose dogs aren't so bad after all…"


End file.
